The Crystal Facade

A Kyrielle

I'm lost in the dead of winter,

the pain dug in like a splinter...

Love astray everywhere I look,

written in my memory's book.

 

I can't stand humanity now,

slacking the rules it can allow...

My love is stolen by the crook,

written in my memory's book.

 

Liars and cheaters kill my life,

my feelings are under the knife...

My lovely dove is now a rook,

written in my memory's book.

 

Seduction and kisses are cheap,

thoughts of you I will always keep...

I think I gave you more than I took,

written in my memory's book.

 

My emotions are left to cook...

Written in my memory's book.

Author's Note

whenever I get writers block I find it is best to revert back to form... this is what is born of that common reaction... nothing on my mind so I went right back to strict meter and rhyme....

Reviews

[Rambling Prose]

I know nothing of form, and I am only beginning to bud as a writer. Although I'm quite new to this vast world of poetry & prose, my mind's eye recognizes: height, depth & breadth entwined within. This write, with its progressive and gentle flow, captured the very essence of life's events which are burned into memory and forever stored into vast chambers of the mind.

Excellent imagery...

[R J Askew]

I revert to form after writing jagged...the discipline of form is very uplifting in some ways, like being in a martial arts class. Everyone knows where they are. There is a certain beauty and solidarity in it.

I like this blue kyrielle very much. I like the melancholy of it...and the feeling that these things happen in life, the disappintments. Memory can also be a bad thing as well as a good thing if memories are all we are left with. The bad memories of course we are happy to lose, if we can.

I like the winter/splinter pairing and the recoiling from humanity. But the line that I really enjoyed was the wonderfull wry, 'My lovely dove is now a rook'. I just love it. The two birds are a wonderful contrast (though I actually do like rooks -- great flyers on windy days in February) and the word rook fits in perfectly with the rhyme scheme.

[Hedra Helix]

oh man, I know nothing of form but I love some lines ya got in here;) allow me to cut paste the pretties.

-the pain dug in like a splinter...

Love astray everywhere I look,

-I can't stand humanity now,

slacking the rules it can allow...

My love is stolen by the crook,

soo pretty. Ive read a few of your things tonight trying to get a sense of your voice so I can comment efficiently. You have a nice mastery of smooth rhyme regardless of what form you are using, which I think might be why I need a moment more to get your voice though it does read oh so clean as I am the oppsite type of beast;) no form at all for me;)