Incandescent Musings

Well into the wee hours of the morn,

I ponder listlessly on my scorn.

Trying not to begrudge upon one,

who has kept me up to see the rising sun.

 

She left so many questions on the table,

she may have affixed me with a label.

Trudging in these deep unsightly musings,

goes far beyond any of my choosings.

 

3's & 7's comforting me from the radio,

reminding me that love is like a rodeo.

Hold on tight and try to keep from falling,

ignore the sound of my hearts steady calling.

 

I should give up.  Though I know that I will not,

for that is one thing that my history has taught.

For me, to give up is to quit which is to fail,

and I would like to have a chance to one day lift a veil.

 

Out with one, in with a new,

what is there left for me to do?

My list of formers is growing quite formidably,

and I have handled these less than admirably.

 

Still, I can not escape the shadow that SHE casts over me.

one so deep and dark that I can not even see,

any hint of light at the end of this dreadful tunnel,

feels like I am being sucked into one big evil funnel.

 

Beyond my shoulders rests my weary head,

one that has fallen asleep amid a darkened flurry of dread.

The dreams will come to taunt and tease my mind,

oh how horrid are the stories that my slumbering soul will find.

Author's Note

can anyone think of a better title?

Reviews

[Siddartha Beth Pierce]

Oh dear, lovely title for certain - I understand the feelings of the end of a relationship and the unknowingness of what is next to come with that comes some hope of finding what is right for you and yet we hold onto the past for many reasons - well explained here. Good work. Thank you.

Light,
Siddartha

[L.G. Knight]

I love the title! This was wonderful with excelent structure rhyme rhythm anf flow and just a fantastic story to it! Awesomely Done!

~Frances~

[justjenn_2u]

Well, at least you have moved on. This poem is clear and easy to understand. I do think the title fits. In fact, I don't there could be a better title.

Nice write!

[Emily B]

Hmmmm. . . can't think of a better title right off. Your words are carefully chosen. Good work.

[Penny Ellen]

I'd love to head this set to music. It seems to flow a certain way, but like song, not speech. I also liked the love-rodeo comparison, as well as the line "list of formers"....
You could always stick with the ever-classic "untitled"... lol but please don't.

[Butch Decatoria]

Feels lonely --to be recalling of lost love's litany...to be in reverie with sad wish of use to be's... your emotions pour out in your words. The 3rd stanza especially was good, with comparing love to a rodeo. Good job on the title as well, contradictory words : one being without light (can hardly see?) the word incandescent; the other --musings, as to lightly or flippantly remember and ponder on (as if amusing oneself in its recollection). I might of called it "Incandescence of an Introvert" --as you are entering into your own thoughts, sharing this to oneself, in the dark. I've been there brother, what a wonderful way to get therapy in telling your life's poetry. Thanks for sharing this. Chin up. Peace.

~PFluffer~

[Sally Edwards]

I like the title, please don't change it. I like your musings, such a refreshing change to read of a man's thoughts regarding love not working out, nice flowing poem.

[maestro]

Interesting poem..i like your use of wording. But, as I read through it I felt this man was talking out of a void, and his perpetual obsession over this woman hurting him-he just couldn't understand, or didn't want too, and that, "The dreams will come to taunt and tease my mind, oh how horrid are the stories that my slumbering soul will find." He is looking forward to nightmares of this woman hurting him over and over again. hm. Overall, Great Work :)

p.s. Title fits perfect

[Gray]

some of the word-choice seemed a bit crude to me, the words chosen only to rhyme, not for any additional weight they might add to the poem.

The title is perfect.

I do have a feel that this was written with the person being in a vehicle perhaps. Traveling somewhere far.

The form is wonderful and the use of words are perfect. Good rhythm as well.

A worthy read