Greatest Weakness

Just a thought I had during a painful experience.

When a loved one feels pain we feel it too. When they are weak we are weakened by it. Forced to be a pillar of strength holding them up while at the same time the pain and hurt is slowly crushing, causing all that you are to crumble away. All you strive for is to give them everything they want and need, but they have lost everything. Everything you have means nothing to you, as it is useless in saving the ones you love, from the horrors they face. To love someone is to feel their pain. To love someone is to have the greatest weakness possible. A weakness with no defense.

Author's Note

I experienced a moment filled with such intense emotion that I needed to release it in some way, and this was a piece of that release.

Reviews

[Kelly Scheppers]

I can see why my poem left you confused. Now, a piece like this needs punctuation. Usually when writing something brief, or with staccato lines, the breaks are obviously clear to the reader. But something like this, truly does require it. You'll find writing is the best catharsis, for whatever it is you are going through. This is a lovely piece that so many can relate to. God speed for your healing!

[Robowriter]

Thank you!

[Tamara Beryl Latham]

Wow! Your words are profound. I am experiencing exactly what you've penned at the present time. I was wondering if you are suffering from high blood pressure. I am.

Great job and don't stop this impressive writing. The reader feels every word. :)

[Robowriter]

Thank you for the review, as far as I'm aware my blood pressure is doing okay, though i haven't checked it very recently haha

[Arriam]

I can completely understand, and it's both a weakness and a sign of emotional strength. You've made it far enough to feel something this strong, which is important. My only slight disagreement is with the formatting, which could be made more approachable by taking it our of paragraph form and making some separate stanzas. It'd make the truth you're conveying even more powerful.
Thanks for submitting!
Arriam

[Robowriter]

Thank you for the help I’m sure as I learn more about writing I’ll be able to put my words into a more powerful meaningful form, but for now I think they’ll have to speak for themselves as it is mostly an overflow from my mind onto here! I’m reading as much as I can on here to learn from the examples of others though if you have any suggestions to show me more what you mean I would greatly appreciate it!

[Arriam]

An overflow of the mind is good, and reading is also important to help you develop your style! Just keep doing what you're doing, seeing as you seem to have a good idea!

[Einstein Noodle]

your write peels away my skins and my feelings are of vulnerability and pain ... and all for another .. its the true beauty of humanity .. your prose hints at taking on too much of another's troubles and i think there is a limit .. once crossed is now unhealthy for the bearer ... but your closing gets me back on track .. though we seldom admit our connections .. they non-the-less- are as real as rock .. like from John Travolta's movie "Phenomenon" when he senses the worldwide interlacings and communications among the trees ;) i agree with Kelly ... you can go a long way with form ... use line and space to isolate and/or emphasize your thoughts ... create dramatic pause ... so glad i stopped to read this .. i am reminded of the reason i started writing poetry ... deep emotional loss, grief and pain ... so grateful i chose to write ... that was about 18-20 yrs ago ... reading others' works .. learn poetic tooling ... and writing is a wonderful pursuit ... i am hooked on it .. i hope you will be too!
E.