Short and sweet. well not sweet but the pem is good even though the story is not a happy one. it flowed well although i think that the 2nd line in each stanza felt a bit "stiff" to me. for diffrent people that could work to your advantage making the poem have more feeling but for me it worked the other way. Overall its a good poem that was enjoyable to read despite (as i have mentiond) the theme.
You so clearly express the numbing effect of depression.. how it works so slow and takes it time to steal joys and life from us.. I can relate to this one.. was there so long.. glad to be on the other side. This is so powerful..
'Time to give life a rest' - life is so precious that it's sad to read those words .. maybe giving self a rest in the noise and pace of life is more to the point.
Being down, feeling blue is part of discovering how beautiful things can be .. guess we have to have day to find night's beauty, have summer to appreciate the wonders of winter ..
Sorry, i went from your poem to your feelings .. your poem rings of absolute truth, maybe you've even restrained yourself from yelling out words, but the emotion's here for sure .. plus, you've set out your words well, kept the meter going and made the readers sit up and think.
I like this, but I have to agree, it seems to be lacking true depth, which I would have liked to see; however, it's also very appropriate considering this line:
I'm losing all my interests
The style you wrote it in drives that line home and really shows that even one of your passions feels empty now. Great work! It's very easy to relate to think as it's something that everyone goes through at some point. On the flip side, when you hit this point, keep your head up, it will get better.
I can see by the comments people agree with you. Your reflecting a normal part of life that so many go through. It's just so hard when your in it and you can't get out. Nice job.
everyone feels this once in a while, I've had bouts of depression too. It's nicely done really put a good thought into this but it seemed that you were holding back a few things and all I can suggest is don't hold it in. Release your pain into your paper and watch the world turn brighter
You are talented...
Just don't hold back next time especially in this kind of poem...
The depressive poem needs to have some depth, honesty, anger, and a lot more frustration, not just sadness...anyway, I appreciated this write while reading this, you're far a better writer than me so I know that you can do better...
I am a 14 yr old girl and ive been through a lot. I havent had the best time growing up and at times i needed rescue and thankfully I got it when i needed it. ive been faced with many tough decisions .. more..