Hazel and Brown

Poem about my ex and I

Dark brown eyes meet soft hazel,

Flickered glances, and then they pull apart.

Their love is as dark as
the Jack Daniel's whiskey he tells her to drink,

As hard to swallow as the pills in her hand,
but harder to give up then any drug imaginable.
Her scrawny child-like body beside his manly build

seems as odd as their relationship, but they love it.

They love each other.

 

Her dark brown eyes meet furious hazel,

a slam of his fist and she falls to the ground.

He has become quick-tempered as a bull, moody as an artist;

She is forced to be so careful, so precise,

so as not to set him off. She attempts

to stay in his good graces (however impossible).

She is convinced that if she hopes and prays,
 she and this grown man, living as fugitives in a motel

will grow up and change.

 

She has no choice but to deal with him

for her life is now in his hands.

 She’s just a fifteen-year-old alcoholic at the mercy

Of a bipolar grown man who’s driven her

thousands of miles away from her family,
so that she only has him, if she even has that anymore.

She drinks her fear and intuition away,

Always afraid of what his next action will be.

She stays in a constant state of alarm, of fear.

 

Hazel eyes always turn dark,

Always searching for a problem that isn’t there-

A reason to hit or abuse her.

Dark brown eyes sit stagnant at the motel room,

Only getting up for more liquor to cope,

The protruding air conditioner looking like a mini bar.

She waits for his next move, his next action,

His moods as different as day and night in rapid succession.

She never knows when she’ll be hit.

 

 

She never feels safe with “her love, her man”.

She soon dreads when he’ll come home,

Never knowing his mood, his actions, always wondering

“Will I be raped tonight? Will I be hit?

Will he kick me out? Will he sell me for money?”

He buys her liquor then calls her an alcoholic.

Her forces her to have sex with him

and then calls her a w***e.

 

Hazel eyes glare at bloodshot brown,

the knife comes out his hand, bold and ready,

as she is unprepared, unprepared for

the man that used to, should have, could have, loved her.
The crimson bleeds through any past denial, any justification,

as real as the police officers aiming loaded guns at her,

yelling for her to “Put her hands up!”
Love has now twisted, dark as his Jack Daniel, dangerous
as the pills he tells her to take,

painful as her throbbing, bleeding hand.

 

Dark brown eyes have lived on without hazel.

She is repairing the parts of her that he ripped apart.

She is clean and sober, dealing with her past

In the most positive of ways.

She lives under her own rule without him.
Hazel is actually dead now, took his own life

While in prison, yet she dealt with life behind bars,

Stitches, trauma and all,

And she continually moves on.

 

 

Author's Note

This is a true story about my ex boyfriend and I. Please tell me what you think.

Reviews

[Cristina Moldoveanu]

Your story is interesting. My opinion is that you should work more on the sixth stanza, otherwise everything seems logical. Life is not a logical thing and abuses are everywhere. I like the fact that the story has a happy ending somehow.

[Tai Ryens]

Very prose type of poetry that is said in a lifelike atmosphere. It is no wonder how you did this so perfectly; considering you have been through it personally. An alcohol addiction is really a drastic thing that could lead to very abusive situations.

[Celestial Witch Child]

Oh wow. I had no idea. I'm so sorry.

[ewest1220]

I'm really sorry that you had to go through that. It's very well done. I agree with the others on more description but I don't know how touchy said subject is. I like it just the way it is great job!

[xxxrawr_friendxxx]

Very sad and emotional. I'm so sorry you had to go though that... I agree that it should be more descriptive, though.

[外人 (Gaiji..]

Dark and very intense, great use of pathos but again, very sad atmosphere shown all ove the poem !

[Laura Maidah]

Btw that picture? Those eyes are gorgeous. I want to rob them out of whoever and wear them.

[Laura Maidah]

"shatter" "stabbed" and "ripped apart"? Choose one. Everything else? Keep it. It's flawless.

[GunMetal]

I agree with eglantine's suggestions. This has a lot of potential. I like how you crossed out "(however impossible)", which emphasized your uncertainty, and denial. Over all I felt this piece. It's dark and tragic.

[Jordan A. Wilson]

utterly captivating. i don't know if it is your aim to add to any of your pieces but i would like to read more. not because it needs it, just because i'd like it that much.