Poetry Rant/Vent

has a happy ending:)

It's crushing me til' I can't breath;
can feel it beckoning me to leave.
My breathing racing up and down;
jagged but no one's around.

Inside I feel I'm falling apart.
My pain is mixed with battle scars.
I want him here but he is dead.
He gave up on his life instead.

I have no one, I have nothing;
the compulsions taking hold of me.
I struggle to only take one breath
because I fear there's nothing left.

I'm scared that I will ruin it all,
that I will leave, that I will fall.
I worry they were right all along
and then they'll sing my mourning song.

What if I were to walk away?
Do I have enough courage to stay?
Will I get away easy and escape
or will my heart harden with hate?

I wish that I was young again,
pure, naive, and innocent.
I wish that I could do over my life
and steered away from all the strife.

I try not to think but it is there:
etched into my skin and it's not fair.
I've been through so much and I forgot
cuz the truth hurts and it's better not sought.

If he gave up then why can't I?
Dig my own grave and live a lie.
That's the track I'm on and I'm sick,
I'm sick and tired of living this s**t.

I know deep down this too shall pass
but I don't like how long it lasts.
This doubt, this pain, this past abuse
is gunna leave me in a noose.

I need to get my s**t together
cuz I can't live like this forever.
I have plans and I have goals
and I can't strangle them in a choke hold.

I need to heal, I need to believe
that I'm salvageable and able to be,
that I am worth love and time and care
and remember I'm not the little girl standing there.

It's time for me to grow up, come back alive
from this pity party I've tried so hard to hide.
I need to step up to the plate
and practice what I preach,
cuz at the end of the day
I'm still stuck with me.

Reviews

[afra]

wow ...so beautiful ...i loved it ...well done

[Tai Ryens]

Looking for hope in the abyss of despair is oftentimes the most difficult task to accomplish; kudos to you for doing so: I have yet (if I were eligible to do so much as) to succeed in the goal you have surmounted.

[Coyote Poetry]

"cuz at the end of the day
I'm still stuck with me."
I like the way you led the reader to some good advice. In the end. We must like our self and find purpose and reason to be alive. Thank you for the excellent poem.
Coyote

[∠( ᐛ 」..]

Really good, really amazing, & really wonderful.
100/100