Second Thoughts

love poem

When I'm afar I feel it
like a longing in my being,
to be held and look in his eyes
because seeing is believing.
But when I'm there and I look in his eyes
sometimes I don't feel the sparks...
the sparks that captured me in the beginning
seem to dwindle in the dark.
But when I'm away I hurt so much,
wishing to lay in his arms,
but once I'm there sometimes I wonder
if he or I will just harm.
I don't understand how I could be so betrayed
by my very own feelings of love.
It used to drag me in but now
I wonder if it's just a drug...
maybe pulling him into my arms is just
an instinct, an addiction.
The same dramatic and sad ways
that I used to get attention.
Why do I miss him so bad when he's gone
but am not sure how I feel when he's there?
Sure I giggle and laugh and smile,
but is my heart really true and all there?
What if he's not my love, my life,
like I thought that he would be?
What if I'm just going through the motions
and am too blind to really see?
I want this to work,
I don't want things to change.
But what if my teenage heart
is just playing games.
What if he feels this way too?
Would he tell me if he did?
There must be something wrong with me,
an impulsiveness I must rid.
I don't want to be one of those girls
who can't stay long-term.
I want him to be my man
to love and to serve.
It has only been a year
and I shouldn't be tired yet.
He is such a wonderful guy...
I guess my needs aren't all met.
But will they ever be?
I truly don't know.
Maybe I am broken
just like that man told me so.

Author's Note

A poem about a long distance relationship I'm in. Let me know what you think.

Reviews

[ron]

Very nice and sadly true. To fall in love can be an addiction. But it can be a wonderfuly painful addiction. Very well writen.

[The 13th Eros]

Firstly, this is so beautiful and reflective of your thoughts and feelings. Secondly, yes, so many questions go through your head when you're in a long-distance relationship. May you find your peace, and I hope the distance melts away so you can be face to face forever. xo