1953

long prose; mature subject matter

"He'll help you on the farm",
mom said,
as I looked into the mans' eyes.
"Do what he tells you",
she said,
and I knew I would oblige.

It was the summer of 1953
and I was very young.
My sixth birthday had just passed
and many more were yet to come.
It was a warm day in August
down in southern Michigan.
Little did I know that that's the day
my life would seem to end.

The man walked me to the barn
where we milked the cows for dinner.
He told me about his life,
and about Michigan's cold winters.
My family and I had just moved
from California to over here.
They said the city was too wild
and moved us here to calm their fears.

As I bent down to milk the cows
I could feel his gaze on me.
I was innocent and young
as a child outta be.
So when his hand touched my back
I did not know what to do.
I just kept milking the cows
as he had told me to.

He said, "Do you like doing that?"
and I looked up in his face.
His eyes seemed to grow darker
and his expression changed.
I did not know the right answer,
so I told him the truth.
"Yah, I like milking cows",
little did I know it'd cost my youth.

His hand slid farther down
and my body tensed up.
I told him, "I don't think you should do that"
and he told me to shut up.

This was back in the times
when this type of stuff just didn't occur.
I didn't know what to do
and I didn't know where to turn.
When the pain hit I screamed
and the cows and animals looked away.
I remember that event as if
it happened yesterday.

I was six years old
raped by a grown man.
I told my ma a couple years later
and she told me I was a lying sham.
She took a switch off the tree
and tore up my behind.
Told me never to lie again
or it'd hurt more next time.

Because back then rape didn't happen
and if you said so you were a liar
and so I held this in my heart
until the anger turned to fire.

I was thirteen years old,
working on the farm the day it stopped.
I grabbed him in a choke hold
and made his lifeless body drop.
Nobody in town believed me
when I stood in the court room.
Small towns don't have this "problem"
they all seemed to assume.

I was six years old when I began to see
the evil within him, the evil growing in me.
It was a warm summer day
and I was never the same.
In the year of 1953
I began to warp and change.
Because rape didn't happen
until the modern age.
So why would I tell the truth
about such a horrific thing?

And if they didn't believe me
why would they believe another little boy
because nobody would care
or know I chose to destroy.

When my innocent was ruined
and nobody seemed to care
the darkness seeped in
and I fell into the snare.

Thirty years later
I had committed the same crime
over and over again
because revenge was mine.
And when people started to care
and believe what they had to say
I wondered why they didn't care
years ago that summer day.

And when I was stabbed in prison
that one last time
I wondered why they believe their stories
but not mine?
Why was I the one beaten
that fateful day
but now people listen
and hear what they have to say?

I was six years old,
it was the summer of 1953.
If you were in the same position
you might have done the same as me.

Author's Note

I borrowed part of this story from a pastor who talked of being raped in the 50s, and thereafter being beaten by his mother for lying. Soon after, he became Christian, but it made me wonder about all the others who weren't saved during that era, were raped, called liars, and didn't have anyone to go to.
Let me know what you think.

Reviews

[Muse]

There's another side to this story sweetie. Evil will only consume you if you allow it to. That's why forgiveness is perhaps the only remedy. Easier said than done you know. But it's not much different than resentment, it will eat you up alive if you don't forgive your debtors. It doesn't make it right or fair. The act in itself is still sick. And honestly if it was my child touched, it would take an army of people from keeping me from KILLING them. So that's the conundrum. Find peace with forgiveness....or seek revenge and be consumed by the hate. I think revenge only gives a moment of calm. Forgiveness they say....can provide a life-time of peace. Ps...don't think religion has anything to do with this. Look at the controversy behind the Catholic church and all of those scandals. There a bad apple out there to corrupt every religion out there. We must be objective.

I don't check out new writers very often...nor do I give them a 100, but you made my visit worthwhile. Excellent penning!

[†Tracey†]

This reminds me so much of a story my Mother told me.. This is dark and heart wrenching and yet holds so much raw realities that take place.. You really have penned this story well..xo

[Chris]

A strong story... credible as well - the times were different than the nows.

[taboo.poet]

thank you :)

[Call_Me_Miss_Imperfect]

Wow, this is very deep and speaks a powerful message that happens on a day to day basis! There's so many young and innocent boys and girls out there in this messed up world, that runs and struggles against powerful mainuplative harmful adults. Why should there be such thing as people harming one another? Our world is truly dangerous and messed up tremendously. I'm sure I'm not the only one that thinks so. I'm quite positive that there's other people that agree along with me. I like that you made such a powerful and breath-taking poem from a pastor's experience. A child that young should never should be treated or beaten for an action by someone else. I wish there was peace and love spread across the world globally. I'm atleast one person that cares about people and their live situations; one person can make a difference I hear! Great write, please continue writing this beautiful and deep writing Kayla!! :)

Ashley Rivers--Dream BIG and you'll win BIG:)

[taboo.poet]

thank you :)

[Call_Me_Miss_Imperfect]

You're welcome :)

[WILDERNESS]

evil and dark.........the anger inside must be vented out before it damages the inside.....good write

[Nautili]

wow....heartbreaking write.

[Miss. Smith]

A painful, sad story. It scares me that such things can happen in society today but that back then you couldn't do anything about it. I am glad you wrote this because I think it is important that people should know.
And your talent as a writer is amazing!

[Coyote Poetry]

The sad part. This is a true story for many. Rape and abusers were protected by family. I know many adults who told me the bad deeds that were done and they were not allowed to talk about. Thank you for sharing the story. Today girls need to know they must scream, run and find safety. A outstanding story.
Coyote

[Suavis_Umbra]

wow , the ending of the poem just neatly finishes the story. amazingly put and i love it how slowly the rhythm and rhyme creeps on me and of course the poem is not just powerful in imagery but in contextual information, I can almost imagine life back then , truly you have opened a hole in the past for which some of us can see through. XD XD can't wait for more :D