That URBAN spoken word_ you nailed it then nailed it again! What a very creative, colorful, imaginative, and thought provoking poem you have here. I felt as if you took me in and out of misery, natural existance of man and earth, and self pity! Great, great poem!!!!
Actually, I find this piece inversely lucid. Rather like an instinct for the surreal entrails beneath the surface of every over-rationalized transaction.
It's a verbal martial art of throwing bullshit OFF, a kind of antimatter rhetoric that leaves the poet w/more inner space -- and the reader too, if said reader knows reality is a constant gloss over madness, and that acknowledging that improvisationally is ironic sanity.
aw, this piece was fun and thoughtful. That's a tough combo to pull off. I liked the non-sensical way you made bold statements. Here's my favorite example:
The cusp of utter lunacy
Is a simple barbiturate away
Sold at your local drug store
By a fat man who NEVER
Has been laid
(You figure it out)
the sing-song (lyrical) quality of those lines is golden.
Stay golden, my friend
Now where the hell did this come from? Oh I know..that secret cellar where you keep all of the rawness of your mind.. This is fecken brilliant Kenny-San.. At first glance one would say oh my, what the heck? Read it through, out-loud and it's magnificent..
If Sol is the sun and Sol is dyslexic; doesn't that leave us at a "los"? lol This was like dreams I have when I eat spicy foods before bed...it left me wondering why I would try to make sense out of dreams.
This is a guy whose mind has slipped its moorings, I'm thinking, both in remorse at his GF's departure, and the substance abuse he first engaged in and later questioned as a means of blunting that pain. Liked the image of that wet, tepid energy, and the self-analysis of asking whether her dpearted ghost warranted his slow self-destruction by barbs and coke--hopefully, he will conclude not! A tough one to work out, K, fershurr, but so are the feelings following an aborted relationship, so in that sense, the poem was wholly apropos!
It started out as the most delicious nonsense poem---I loved it and then drifted into slam poetry---however the last stanza just didn't work for me??? But if you are going for true nonsense verse then Lewis Caroll and Dr. Suess would definately be intrigued by you!!!
I have been off of this site for nearly ten years! I've since published five novels (the sixth is about to drop in a few weeks) and I even started my own publishing company. I have never stopped wri.. more..