chapter 2-Ana

I had just finished packing for my week in Los Angeles. The interview that could change my life forever. The butterflies that had been flying around in my stomach for the past few days since Henry and Sadie left had yet to subside and I doubted they would call it quits anytime soon. Henry had called me the night before to make sure that I hadn’t cancelled my flight. I wasn’t quite sure which one of us was more nervous at this point but it meant a lot that he cared so much. He had stayed on the phone with me while I packed and we had one of those talks that we had been having since I was old enough to understand him. The kinds of talks when you say whatever is on your mind no matter who might be listening or what the consequences might be. But that was the kind of relationship we had.

 

“Ana I swear if you give this up, mom will not only haunt you for the rest of your life, she’ll come after me. Now, I don’t know about you but I for one am not fond of the idea of a spiritual beat down,” he said in a joking matter, even though I think a small part of him was serious. Classic Henry joking even when it might not be the best time to do so. “Seriously though,” he said, and although I couldn’t see him, I could tell he was biting back tears, “if you don’t do this for yourself, do it for mom. Just try not to forget the little people when you become rich and famous, okay?” That’s when we both laughed, and I silently promised him as well as myself and to anyone else that was somehow listening, that no matter how many doubts were racing around my head and no matter how loud that little critique got inside my head, I would give 110 percent even if it killed me.

…

The next day, I loaded my bags into my dad’s pickup truck that he had had since before I was born and hopped into the passenger seat so he could drive me to the airport for my flight. The drive was mostly us singing and dancing to his eighties and nineties hits but that was my dad. No matter how long the drive, no matter who was driving, if we were in dad’s truck the music had to be from at least 30 years prior. I still remember when Henry tried to play “Kidz Bop” and dad took it out of the player, put it back in the case, and tossed it into the backseat onto Henry’s lap. He then replaced it with ACDC’s “Back in Black” and Henry never tried to switch dad’s CD again.

 

Once we pulled up to the airport, dad insisted on parking, helping me lug my bags into the lobby, and making sure I got checked in correctly. I had flown god knows how many times before this, going to see Henry time and time again since he had moved and that was on the other side of the country in New York. This flight was less than two hours, Tucson to Los Angeles, and someone who was looking on from afar would’ve sworn I was moving to New Zealand or something. This reaction while expected yet a little overboard even for dad. Once I received my boarding pass, I walked over to my teary eyed father who was already standing by the escalator that led to security. He then pulled me into a tight bear hug and didn’t let go until I started struggling for air. He pulled back, placed a kiss on my forehead, and asked “Are you sure you’re ready for this, Ladybug?” I smiled at the nickname he had been using since I was a child when I became fascinated with the small brightly colored insects. “Yes dad, I’m ready.” The rest of my life was waiting for me at the top of that escalator and if I didn’t go now I would never again work up the courage to do it. He smiled at me, wiped his tears away, and even though I knew it was killing him deep down he nudged me towards the escalator and whispered “then spread those wings and fly.”

 

As I stepped onto that escalator and tightened my grip on my bag, I looked over my shoulder at my father who was smiling and waving goodbye to me like something out of a cheesy romcom movie. I smiled back at him fighting my own tears as I realized that not only was this the first time I would be without him or Henry, but the week that sat in front of me could make or break my career as a photographer. My hands shook as I tried to settle the nerves that were threatening to bubble over in my stomach at any second. I straightened up, turned to face what was in front of me, and stepped off the escalator heading towards the security checkpoint and more importantly, whatever the hell the week ahead had in store for me.