Dizzy Spells

A Poem by kelly mcaulley

i wrote this about my experience of the wake up call i had when i was heavily depressed

DIZZY SPELLS
© 2012 - by Kelly Mcaulley

The longer I lay here
I can feel it

It makes my skin crawl
And I feel sick

With background noises
Back and forth, stuck, “tick, tock, tick ..”

I’m beginning to lose it
The life Im choosing
A battle I’ve grown comfortable loosing

The longer I lay here
I can feel it

My heart starts sinking, and sinking
Never a thought to what I was thinking
The noises ring closer and closer, faster and faster
I grew into such a disaster
Without sense of control
Or what I seem to be after

Plagued

I’m like a cat
So spare me nine lives
Vexation kills me, though I’ve never died

The longer I lay here
I can feel it

And I just can’t stand the noise
It’s a ringing, buzzing, right in my ear
The longer I lay here
Those sounds of my pulse racing, my heart beating
Have their own method of teaching

Looks like I’ll be here a while
Brings the bearer of bad news
In addition to the disorderly blues

Haven’t looked in the mirror
But there’s no need
Their expressions towards my honesty
Is quite enough for me

There’s a pulse beneath my skin
As I feel it growing thicker
I’m coming to, quicker and quicker
Voices carry outside, and I can feel their eyes
With their shadows passing by

Humiliated

Once too dark, now too bright
It’s quite clear
The longer I lay here

Give me something I deserve
The longer i lay here
Lesson learned