3) Repentant Heart

April's eyes widened at Jenny's startling news.

"Ella's mother-- Lillian?" she whispered through her parched throat.  Though she already knew the answer, she had to confirm the truth in her heart.

Jenny nodded again.  "The doctor has finally convinced her to her bed.  It appears she's been holding out for quite a while, probably expecting it to be a passing cold or something."  She paused as though in thought, then added quietly, "You remember Lillian, April.  She never listened to anyone, always having such a strong will.  I'm just relieved she sent for the doctor in time before things got worse."

April barely heard.  In a mere whisper, she asked, "Is it serious?"

Jenny did not evade the question, but nodded quietly.  "The doctor isn't all sure..."  She let her words trail off as she shrugged, gazing in silence down into her cold cup of tea.

"Walking pneumonia," April repeated.  The very word made her cringe.  It brought a stinging pain, hanging in the air with its forlorn warning and possible meaning.  Such hopelessness and uncertainty.  April wished to push all thoughts away, but how could she?  How can one avoid such a fear? 

Jenny rescued her from her swarms of troubled thoughts.  "I was thinking we could bring some baking.  I'm sure she hasn't been able to cook anything lately, and the children would love to see you, I'm sure."

April managed a nod.  It was the least she could do.

~*~

The sky was streaked in a silvery grey that cold September morning, as both made their way silently along the winding paths through the woods.

"It looks like rain," Jenny observed.

April didn't have the heart to reply.  It seemed as though the warm days of summer had been swept away all too quickly, bringing an unusual amount of rainfall and dreary weather.  She had been looking forward to autumn and its beautiful scenery, but, now, was only disappointed.

A whispery gasp interrupted her thoughts.  "There it is," Jenny whispered.  April followed her gaze where a shabby, worn house with rough hewn logs as a foundation, sat at the top of a grassy incline.

Both eyes met, each filled with unasked questions.  Then, without another word, they immediately began clambering their way upward.

It was Ella who spotted them first, tramping their way up the hill.  She was ragged and tearful eyed, looking desperate and forlorn.  "Oh, teacher," she sobbed, and flew her arms around April's neck.

April didn't know how to respond, and merely rocked her gently in her arms.  "It's okay," she soothed, stroking the tangled, blond hair.  "We're here."

"I don't know what to do," she whispered, tears coming to her eyes.  "The doctor's out of town, and no one knows when he'll be back.  Mama's burning up.  I don't know how to help her.  I'm afraid, teacher.  So afraid."

April looked into her soft, concerned blue eyes, and felt a stab of pain in her heart.  "Everything is going to be fine, now.  Don't cry anymore," she hushed her.  "It's going to be alright."

The two women exchanged quick glances.  How long had she had the responsibility to take care of her bedridden mother-- all by herself?  Well, we're here, now, April comforted the thought.  And we're not leaving until these children and their mother are properly taken care of.

"Come inside, now," Jenny coaxed to the distressed child.  "Are you hungry?  We brought some food for your brother and sister."

Ella nodded without hesitation, leading her into their ramshackle lodging.

While Jenny cared for the half-starved children, April entered Lillian's room to the far back of the house, holding her breath at the nauseating smell that hung in the air.  Her eyes slowly adjusted to the darkness, allowing her to make out faint outlines of the scantly furnished room.  It was small and cramped, scattered in newspapers and magazines.  Thick curtains draped the walls, and were tightly drawn, preventing even the slightest ray of sunlight to lighten the dungeon-like place.  April's hand stifled the gasp that wished to escape her throat.

Like a shadow, she felt her way to the end of the room, and let her gaze rest on the sleeping mother, stiff and drawn, like a starched apron.  Her frame looked so frail and weak, and, even in her sleep, her face expressed her apprehension.

April had nearly forgotten the classmate of her youth, but the fiery eyes and defiant chin, her heart could still recollect.  She had surely changed.  So daring she had been.  Everyone, from a distance, had revered the robust, red headed damsel.   

And, look at you, now, April's heart silently cried out.  You've wasted away.  What's happened to you, Lillian?  And how can I help you? 

She turned, unable to look her in the face again, and drew open the curtains with a flourish.  She stepped back, letting the sunlight discover the dreary house that needed its rays of light.

She found a water basin on the bed stand, and let the cloth soak in the cool water before pressing it against her forehead.  Then, turning, began to arrange everything back into a somewhat orderly condition.  It was then that Jenny appeared beside her.

"I just put the children to bed," she informed.  "They fell asleep as soon as their heads touched the pillow.  Oh, April, I fear they've been like this for weeks-- maybe more."

April nodded, not totally surprised.  "There's so much more we could do... I just don't know what and how."

Before responding, Jenny's gaze immediately shifted to the cot at the far end of the room.  "How is she?" she asked gently.

April knew she couldn't evade the question.  "I don't know," she replied honestly.  "I-- I just don't know.  She looks-- awfully sick though.  I can't believe the doctor left her in this condition.  And the children..."

Jenny didn't reply.  Each of their thoughts were far off in the distance, swirling with questions.  But, still, no answers.  Then April concluded matter-of-factly, "Well, you best be getting on home, now.  James will be up and pacing if you don't hurry."

"Yes, I suppose," she responded absentmindedly.  Then, she looked up as though in sudden realization.  "And what about you?  You can't stay here, not by yourself."

"I have no choice, Jenny.  The children can't be left alone again.  You know that."

"Yes, but--"  

"Jenny, they need me here."

She didn't protest further, but Jenny's eyes still expressed her hesitancy.  "You're sure you'll be alright?"

She nodded to assure her.  "I'll be fine."

Jenny paused in her reluctance, but just as she was about to turn and leave, April interrupted, "Oh, and, would you mind letting Drew know..?"

She nodded.  "Of course I will."

"Thank you."

Once her soft footsteps had retreated, April stood, wandering over to the living room where the children were curled up on the worn, faded couch by the crackling fire, sleeping soundly.  April's heart reached out to them, overwhelmed at the thought of them, so young, carrying such a burden on their shoulders.

"Who do you have to care for you?" she asked them softly, stroking back the hair of the little one's.  "You have no father.  He left long ago before any of you could remember."  April paused in memory of the long ago Kenneth Scott.  A fearless young lad he had once been, craving mischief, and longing for his own independence.  He had captured Lillian's heart as a tall, handsome young man, walking with such a confidence, having that flashing smile, and sparkle in his eyes.  No one could have blamed Lillian for her enchantment.

April smiled in her remembrance.  That's how it had started.  It wasn't long after that that Lillian was Mrs. Kenneth Scott.  April had never totally thought the marriage a wise one.  Both were quite young, each with their own strong will.  But that's how it had happened.  And that's how it would be-- at least, most had thought.

Years passed, and April lost contact.  They had never been that close in past years, and April thought little of it when she boarded the train to Pennsylvania, leaving her childhood home behind.  Nothing had been said of her until she had returned, reuniting once again with Drew.

It was Jenny who had informed her.  Kenneth had left.  Apparently, he had been as unstable and arrogant as April had believed him to be.  All Lillian received from him was a broken heart and three children to care for and raise on her own.  

It was amazing how she had carried on though.  She had put her lover aside, and spent the rest of her days caring, loving and raising her beloved children.

And what did I do? April thought to herself.  I was as selfish and uncaring as her past husband.  I ignored it, too busy on preparations for my wedding.  I could have been some comfort.  Some help.  And I did nothing.  Nothing at all.  Just stood back, and watched as she fought for her children's sake, trying to mend a crushed spirit.

April bit back the tears.  It was true.  Her classmate of old had meant nothing to her then.  Oh, yes, she had had her pity.  But love?  Comfort?  Even the smallest trace of understanding?

No, her heart echoed.  You left her all alone. 

April dropped to her knees by the fire, staring into the dancing flames, fighting the truth of her past ignorance.

Well, maybe, I can't change the past.  But I can change the future.  

Those thoughts brought some comfort as she buried her face in her arms.  "Oh, Lillian," she whispered, "please, forgive me."

Author's Note

I know you have a lot of questions, and I'm sorry how the chapters have sort of been leaping from one thing to the next. It will slow down more, now.

About Kenneth, I'm sorry I never informed you of him in the past books. I hadn't gotten the idea about incorporating him into the story until this very chapter, actually. So, what do you think of his/Lillian's story?

Please be honest in your reviews. :)

Reviews

[Jack Isaac]

I think introducing Kenneth here will be okay, I usually expect the plot to come before characters anyway. It's the conflict (or crux) of the story your audience is really looking for, and this develops well from Ch 2. I tend to predict as I'm reading and sort of sift out foreshadows as I go... so I was thinking that tending to the mother's illness as an exercise in how April would attend to her children. Then the plot thwarted my prediction with an interesting twist about April. That's really good writing! Then it all comes together making perfect sense as to what the repentance is.

I don't see any serious flaws that would cause me to have a lot of questions, the story is working a good straightforward flow. Perhaps sorting out the characters a bit more would address your concerns. So far so good!....

[Missy Moooooo]

Awwhh that is so sad thanks for posting this :)

[kaylynnmelody♥]

again, such an awesome chapter and i really have no critism. i loved it! thank you for posting this!

[Erinne S.]

I can see this story progressing into something great, Kelly. You do such a phenomenal job in your descriptions. I could easily picture the house and the children and I felt the same type of heartfelt compassion that April did for those poor children (and I'm not even the one in the story!) Anyway, there were no grammatical errors that I could see, but I was so drawn in that I may have missed them. Haha
Another great chapter and when I get the time I will defintely be reading more. Keep up the great work! :)

~Erinne

[~Lizzy♬]

I was kinda confused, but hopefully you'll answer them in the next chapter. I can't wait to see what happens next. The chapter length was perfect and it drew me in from the beginning to end. I believe you've gotten so much better at writing. :)

~Lizzy~