Sorry

I'm not good with apolgies.
So please forgive me one last time as I search for my honesty.
Forgiveness is limitless but I know with that comes with never being able to forget.
How could you ever forget.
Forget everything that i've done.
I've disrespected you & our love.
I've messed up more than a few times.
I never meant to make you cry twice.
But if you could've seen behind the cover on my eyes.
You would have seen that i've been dreading this since we integrated lives.
I had dreams of you & living out this beautiful life.
But I never did catch the end.
I shouldn't have gotten lost in how it began.
You've just begun.
My end has come.
I know that doesn't make sense to you so i'll explain.
I was diagnosed a while back & was told everything would change.
I was asked if I had a religion cause if so, I should start praying.
After being told that, all I could do was sit there & fight from crying.
Because in my mind, all I could think about was what that kind of news would've done to you.
How could I ever leave you when I had just fell for you?
So I fought & kept it a secret for as long as I could.
But my turn to leave this life behind is now.
I know it's too late but before you throw this down with hate.
Know that I loved you more than life itself & i'm sorry that I let you down..