Chapter Three

 

It was fifteen days after I awoke that I would see my family for what seemed the last time.

            Night time was falling, the dust settling back to the ground, the sun preparing for its night rest. We had been out in the fields all day, the heat was unrelenting and there had not been a cloud in the sky to give any relief. While I still felt the heat on my skin I never felt overheated, never even perspired. But I saw how it affected my brother and father, their movements becoming sluggish and weary.

            The three of us sat around the table, each of them unwilling to take the first bite of Francis’s concoction. Ann had always been an amazing cook; I could only imagine how they suffered all the more with missing her cooking.

            They had quickly given up on trying to make me eat, I knew they did not want to risk the fury that was sure to erupt. I was grateful now looking at the goo that lay in their bowls. None of us had ever bothered to try to learn how to cook.

            “I think I am going to see Elizabeth tomorrow,” I announced quietly, keeping my eyes on the table, memorizing every line there. “She must be worried about me.” I could hope at least…

            I heard Eli mutter something under his breath like “don’t hold your breath”. That was all it took.

            “What is your problem?!” I hissed.

            “Come on Will,” Eli said as he set his fork down. “It’s Elizabeth. Do you really think she’s waited all this time? She hasn’t even come to see you once!”

            I was around the table in an instant. I gripped him by the front of his shirt, yanking him out of his chair. I thought I heard my father yell something, heard a chair scraping against the floor but I paid no attention. Rage consumed me. Somewhere in the back of my head a little voice was telling me to stop, that I was out of control and over reacting to my one confidant but I found I could not listen to that small voice.

            “If you have a problem with Elizabeth just say it!” I shouted as I shoved him into the front room. He tripped on his feet as he stumbled backwards, landing on the floor with a thud. I could tell he was afraid of me, see the small beads of sweat forming on his brow, but I could also see the determination on his face.

            I could hear Francis breathing shallowly behind me but he did not interfere or interrupt. He would let us work out our quarrels, he always did, but I also sensed he was afraid as well.

            “Fine,” Eli fumed, still sitting on the floor. “She absolutely horrid. She’s not a good person, Will. Just a spoiled little brat that doesn’t care about anyone but herself. I’ve seen her around the last time we were in town. Not a care in the world. If you think she’s sitting at home worrying and waiting for you to recover, you’re kidding yourself,” he hissed as he pulled himself to his feet.

            I would forever regret what I did next.

            I lunged forward at him meaning to simply knock him to the ground, to make him stop telling lies. Instead we both went careening into the far wall and I felt the floor and the rest of the house shake as we collided.

            Eli went instantly limp as we landed on the ground. I righted myself quickly and backed away, my eyes wide with horror. Francis bellowed at the top of his lungs as he rushed to Eli’s side, trying to push me out of the way as he went. 

            “What have you done?” he bellowed as he lifted Eli’s head in one hand and felt around for any broken bones with the other.

            I stared at my brothers limp form for a moment, waiting in agony. I let out a sigh of relief as I saw his chest finally rise and fall, heard the air hiss as it went in and out of his lungs. “He’s alive,” I whispered.

            Francis’s face suddenly turned hard as he looked up at me, his eyes dark. “Get out of my house,” I barley caught what he said, his voice was so low. “I want you to get out of my house. I will not allow you to hurt anyone else in this household!” his voice rose with each syllable.

            I stood frozen for a long time, my brain working sluggishly. Finally the truth was coming out about why he could never look me fully in the eye when the topic of our mother and my “accident” came up. I had not been strong enough and had let his one true love be murdered. I was no longer welcome in my own home.

            I gave the slightest nod before I dashed up to my room. I stuffed a few things into a bag and was back down the stairs in just a few moments time.

            “I am sorry Father,” I said, wishing the emotions I was feeling inside could somehow escape. “Tell Eli I am sorry.

            His face was still hard as he watched me leave, Eli’s head cradled in his arm.

            As I shut the door behind me and stood on the bottom step I froze. Who was I now? I did not even know. I had always had a calm and cool temperament and now I was lashing out at anything and everything. The flame within me had changed me into another person. A man with uncontrollable anger. I had just nearly killed my brother.

            There was only one place for me to go now. I set off down the dusty dirt road with determination in my step. I had to get under better control. I would not hurt anyone else I loved.

            The trip that had taken several hours before was over in less than ten minutes and I nearly flew to my destination. I was going to have to make my next moves very carefully. If I screwed this up I did not know where else I would go. There would be nowhere else for me.

            I was going to go straight to the Morgan’s home. First I would speak to Mr. Morgan, tell him that I would accept his generous offer and that I was ready to begin my training immediately. I had no reason not to now. There was no family to return home to now, I was not welcome any longer. And then I would ask Elizabeth to marry me. The wedding would be soon, Elizabeth would like that, so long as she got exactly what she wanted. There was no reason to wait.

            I slowed as I came onto their street. The sun had completely gone down now, twilight as a heavy blanket over the sky. I hoped I would not be coming too late in the evening. A faint glow emanated from the front windows and I determined they must still be awake. I could hear laughter now from within the walls. It lightened my heavy mood and lifted my spirits just the slightest. I wished I was inside laughing with them.

            My heart started pounding as I knocked on the door. This was it. I was finally going to do the thing I had been putting off for nearly a year. There was no longer any more time to think about it, to wonder if I was doing the right thing. What other option did I have at this point?

            I heard a pause in laughter as they heard my pounding on the door. Five people. The laughter picked back up again after the brief hesitation. I heard the rustling of a skirt as someone moved to the door.

            “Elizabeth!” I was surprised when it was she that opened the door instead of one of the servants. 

            The expression on her face both shocked and horrified me. There was a mix of surprise, fear, and uncertainty. She looked curious and yet ready to scream and run all at the same time. Yet I did not care. The fire began to smolder inside of me but it was different this time. It seemed to be propelling me towards her. I wanted to reach out to her and never let her go.

            “William?” her voice was barley even a whisper.

            “I know my visit tonight is unannounced but I could not wait any longer to see you,” I said as I stepped forward to put my arms around her. She took a clipped step away from me.

            “Elizabeth?”

            “They told me you were dead William,” she breathed as I saw a single tear roll down her cheek. “They told me you were dead nearly 3weeks ago, William.”

            “Oh,” was all I could reply to this. “Well, as you can see I clearly am not dead. I would like to speak with your father if he is home.” 

            I started to walk into the doorway but she quickly stepped forward grabbing my hand as she went swiftly down the stairs. “Walk with me?” she said with an unsure smile. Her hand was shaking nearly violently.

            It felt absolutely incredible to finally be with my beloved again. While the fire within me still smoldered and threatened to overcome me at any moment I knew that at least for the moment I could hold the façade. For her, I could remain under control.

            We headed down the street at a slow stroll. So slow… Elizabeth kept glancing over at me every few moments looking me over with a confused and slightly fearful expression.

            “Is something the matter?” I finally blurted out.

            She did not say anything for a moment as she continued to look me over. “What happened to you Will?” she finally said. “Your… different.”

            “Believe me,” I said with a frustrated breath. “I wish I could tell you. All that matters is that I am here now,” hating how uncertain my voice sounded. This was not exactly the reunion I had imagined on my way over.

            We walked in silence for quite a while after that. While she seemed to be relaxing with each passing minute her demeanor grew sad and depressed.  I however, tried to ignore her falling mood and simply enjoy the moment.

            We had now made the loop and were heading back down the hill towards her house. It was now almost completely dark, the only light coming through the faint glowing of the windows.

            Elizabeth slowed to a stop and I stopped with her, looking into her face. She gave me a slight smile but it did not reach her eyes. She brought a hand to my cheek and I placed my hand over hers to hold it there for a moment, inhaling deeply, memorizing her scent, so much stronger and sweeter than I remembered. 

            She took a step closer towards me, closing the gap between us. She slid the hand that was on my cheek to the back of my neck. Slowly, cautiously she brought her face closer and closer to my own and gently pressed her lips to mine. The flame inside of me flared up and my lips reacted in an familiar way, pressing my face harder to hers, urgency held in them. 

            “William, I,” she breathed as she placed a hand against my chest and seemed to be attempting to push me away.

            I backed away, knowing that I was about to cross the line. A smile crossed my face however as I reached into my pocket. In an almost non-existent movement I dropped to one knee and held her hand in my own.

            “I know it has taken me far longer than you ever wanted,” I said my voice low and unguarded. “But I am healed now, I’ve never felt better. It’s time to move on with our lives.” I pulled the ring out of my pocket. I looked up into Elizabeth’s face and wondered why she seemed so shocked and possibly horrified. “Will you marry me, Elizabeth?”

            I held her hand firmly in mine and went to place the ring on her finger when I suddenly froze, my body feeling instantly numb. Her finger was already encircled by a ring. A rather large diamond ring.

            “William,” she whispered as she tugged at my arms, trying to pull me to my feet. I stood in a very unconscious move. “I was trying to tell you Will. There is someone else now. I am getting married at the end of the month.”

            It took a moment for the words to register in my mind. And then the words “there is someone else now” rang though my thoughts, over and over again. “Someone…” my voice trailed as everything settled in.

            The flames flared up, they chased up my throat, longing to escape and destroy everything in sight. “What?!” I bellowed as I turned my back to her, knowing what would happen should I lose control completely. “Elizabeth, how could…” I said as I turned back to her, agony seeping through my system.

            “They told me you were dead! What was I supposed to do? Be the grieving widow to a man who would not ask me to marry him?” Elizabeth shrieked as she wiped away a few stray tears.

            I stood there in stunned silence as her words slapped me in the face. What could I say? She was right, what claim did I have on her? When she believed I was dead especially.            I nodded my head as I processed everything. So my life truly had been blown to pieces. Everything I had loved and wanted was now gone. 

            There was now only one thing left to do.

            “I wish you every happiness then,” I said, my voice calm and even, finding it difficult to look her in the eye. “Can you just tell me one thing then?”

            She looked wary as she nodded her head. “Can you tell me where Doctor Paddock lives?” the malice and anger evident in my voice.

            She looked confused by my seemingly random question. The expression was warranted though, what business could I possibly have with the doctor at this hour when I seemed to be well and whole? Seemed…

            “He lives just above the clinic, back in the middle of town,” she answered, questioning wrinkles between her eyebrows.

            “Thank you, Elizabeth,” I breathed. I stared at her for a long moment, took in every detail of her, memorizing every line and shape, knowing this would be the last time I would likely see her. Unconsciously I raised a hand as if to stroke her cheek but paused just one fourth of an inch away. She closed her eyes and her breathing slowed. After just a moment she pressed her cheek into my hand, completely closing that tiny gap. A tear rolled down her cheek. She turned her head and pressed a kiss to the palm of my hand, her hands coming up and cupping my own. Another tear followed its brother’s path.

            Knowing that I was likely to do something very stupid any moment now I pulled my hand out of her grasp and turned to go. I had taken just a few steps when she called to me. “I truly am sorry, William,” she muttered and I knew she was holding back sobs. “Why couldn’t you have just asked me before? I…  I always wished it would have been you. You were my first and that will never change. But… things are too different now.”

            I could only nod before turning back to the road. Why did she have to say that? Why couldn’t she just let me leave in peace? I must remain composed for just a few moments longer, just until she had gone safely back inside her house.

            My insides were raging, the fire consuming me wholly, coursing through my veins like a self made poison. The life I had once known and loved had just been shattered into a million pieces that would never be put back together. Everything and anything I loved ripped away. Someone was going to pay for this. The old William Colegrove would never consider what I was about, never even dare to think of such things. But it seemed all evidence of the old William Colegrove had died some time ago.

            Once I knew I was out of Elizabeth’s sight I was at nearly a dead run. I knew I should not be moving at these speeds, there was the slight change that someone might see me through their window. But what did I care? What did it matter any more? I could not stay here any longer. There was nothing left here for me. I needed to get far away from here. Especially after what I was going to do tonight.

            As the fire ripped through me I could nearly feel the heat under my skin, propelling me faster and faster. I had never moved this fast, my flame of anger speeding me towards my target. 

            It did not take long to get back into the heart of town. All was silent, the shopkeepers and busy buyers long gone, nestled at home, safe in their beds. The streets were deserted and I felt a slight sense of relief. I wouldn’t have to keep my composure here. When I lost my temper there would be no one to get in the way accidentally. Except for the doctor.

            It seemed a strange thought to think of all those absent people. They were all going about their normal routine, living their lives as they did every day. How could it be possible that while my life had been so shaken, everyone else would most likely never know anything different happened that day, never know the hell that one person was going through.

            Shaking my head I turned my thoughts back to the task at hand. I must stay focused. I wondered what I should expect when I got there. I could not recall ever meeting the doctor before and the large black gap in memory would be of no help. Was he young, full of life and ready to put up a fight. I hoped so. Or was he old and decrepit, yielding no challenge at all? I wondered silently if I would be able to end an old man’s life, to harm someone so defenseless. Yet the fire inside of me knew the answer to that. Whoever he might be, he had to pay for what he had done to me. He had taken my life away and so I would end his.

            I wandered the streets for a few moments, unsure of exactly where the clinic was. The town seemed very different at night than it did in the day. The dust of the streets had settled back into the ground, making everything seem cleaner. More crisp. But perhaps it was just the fact that I was seeing it through new eyes. I had remembered seeing the clinic before but having no reason to ever go inside I had not paid much attention to its exact location.

            It was nearly exactly in the center of town. The book shop and the bakery were on either side of it, all sandwiched together. The depths of the clinic were dark, the contents of its walls kept secret by blackness. I detected a faint glow coming from a few of the tiny windows on the second story. And there in lay my target. 

            Futilely I tested the door and was unsurprised to find it locked. I backed away a few steps from the building, assessing the best way to penetrate its walls. The building went straight up and there would be little to hold onto. There were two large windows on either side of the door to main floor. The two small windows on the second floor were set rather high, it seemed strange to me, it looked off and out of balance.

            While I could break through one of the front windows and hope there was a way to the second floor inside I felt no reason to draw so much attention and there was no way to keep breaking a pane of glass a silent task. I decided to take a look at the back side of the building. It took me a moment to walk around the block to reach it. Behind the row of shops was an alley and it looked rather foreboding for Swansea. It was dark, blocked off from all light by the buildings on both sides. Trash was littered along either side of the walk way. This side looked much more promising. There was a rickety wooden stair case leading up to the second floor and a makeshift door of planks. There was only one window on this side that was very similar to the ones in front.

            With a deep breath, I hardened my expression, squared my shoulders and walked determinedly up the steps. Knowing how they would surely squeal and scream I stepped lightly, wanting to maintain the element of surprise. Reaching for the crude door I found it unlocked. Strange. He obviously was not concerned about intruders.

            I stood there frozen at the door as I considered what I was about to do. A faint echo within me cried for me to stop, to just turn around and leave but the fire within me burned it up before it could really speak. With determination I pulled the door open.

            There was a single candle lit, sitting on a table casting a soft glow on everything around. It was a single large room and was filled with strange objects, masked by the dim glow of the night. I unconsciously registered a strange smell and could not place it. It was like nothing I had ever smelled before. It was clean, pure. The place was completely devoid of life and looked as if someone had left in a hurry. Papers were scattered everywhere, a few stray pieces of clothing lay strewn on the floor. He had somehow anticipated me coming and fled. 

            Rage now consumed me and I was sure that flames would erupt from every opening in my body at any moment. There was nothing for me here to do, no outlet for the hate and the despair that consumed me. I turned back to the night and plunged into the blackness.

Reviews

[Fabian G. Franklin]

Some of his reactions sound like a person on steroids having a burst or overdose of testosterone; that fits so well with his powers because it seems so logical, the psychology changing with his physical disposition. You seemed to have thought that out pretty well, some good resourcrful writing there.