The Fall Out Girls

A collaboration between me (blue) and a close friend, Jackie aka Spilled Her Guts In Cursive (red). We've got distance down to a science, <3

Hey, love

1000 miles away …even if you’re just downstairs….

I think we need to talk ('cause I've been screaming ‘hello’ with my eyes for hours). It's not you, it's me but don't let the clichés fool you. This is no break up, but a make up letter dripping in scribbled over words that spell out 'I miss you' if you squint and look for my lips trying to grab sound from a nervous throat.

 

How've you been, dear

The ice tension between us seems to have split your face from ear to ear

Lets have a bit of a chat, (excuse my French if its turns into a verbal attack)

The angers just too much to bear, unfortunately it’s my defense for the numbing sadness that’s constantly there,

They break up to make up, but no one ever tells you it could be this hard...

To bridge the gap, to bridge the absence of love.

 

But there's love here! A flame that's burning in our throats and blackening our lungs, kid we're choking in the silence.

I used to breathe you in wherever I stepped but now my chest is combating this loneliness

Heaving at the thought of that never after

Forever after

Cue the laughter.

Since a couple of years ago this was as possible as tasting stardust

We’d have never considered this. Holding hands and conversations together in the nostalgic past and yet the bridge is crumbling.

 

I feel just like Peter Pan being banned from Neverland

Growing up, moving on and singing the same old sad song

Wasn’t it you who told me to take your hand and never be afraid again?

Wasn’t it I who coaxed you from your facade of words,

I brought you into sunlight; you stole my fear from me

Suddenly we're over; this is nothing like I thought it would be

Maybe we're just not who we used to see

Maybe the mirrors pushed its way between

Us, each other once being our reflection

 

I never wanted to grow up, damn it!! I never wanted to break bonds with reluctant teeth and taste the bitter swill of longing stuck between my teeth. Never land still exists, I know it. Second star to the right and straight on 'til morning. We might be back in London right now but with a little faith, trust and pixie dust we'll be there again, right where we want to be (I’ve always believed in magic)

Because you still stand up f*****g tall and I bet you could still read me like no one else

 

I always wanted to become older; I always needed to become colder.

What’s your problem?

You taught me that Neverland existed in the silver lining of every cloud,

 But now I know each step towards a dream cracks the pavement in-between my bruised feet.

Tired of trying, tired of chasing that forgotten star that’s been pointing the wrong way the whole time,

 Pointing me into a black hole of awkward fumbled murmurs

With a little cruelty, with a dash of determination and a sprinkle of pain we'll have a cupcake made of sanity

 

Please don't try to keep me standing tall when my spine lies in tatters around you.

I can't even read myself anymore.

 

My problem is reality, if you want my honest opinion. These talks of older and colder tastes like you’ve been frostbitten way too many times. I love this warm, sweet, delicious caramel-coated insanity I love to absorb in every gaping hole in my soul

(Baby the tears and scrapes are worth it. I've been climbing the sky for years and I’m almost touching that so-called forgotten star) because you know what? This world makes me want to hide in false hope, because it’s more beautiful than these stark grey one-way halls. There are doors to another world you lost the key to, I can feel it.

 

Bitten or scarred?

Is there a point in trying to be something im not?

Is there a point in you climbing to reach something you might never be?

The scrapes tell a story but so does the loneliness

And this history tears me apart

Everything is dust. But fine (I will try)

To be something I know I once was

I can feel it too

But when I can't feel is the way our friendship used to.

 

I just...we can go back right? I mean, there's a fine silver line between you and me (I notice it whenever I feel so far away from you it tugs me closer). It’s made of stars and laughter and melodies and harmonies and you know what love, it’s beautiful like us. Its sparkling like we used to. It’s never really gone away it’s just been lost in some kind of distracting blue abyss. Caving in around us, trapped in separate oceans we swim in an endless sea of confusion and illusion because I can see you and you can see me but we're unfamiliar shadows of a place called home now. Swallowed and spat out by the deep dark blue until our words, lips, eyes and skin are turned to saline and swept away.

 

 

Maybe you can go back, maybe you might drag me along but you'll never rediscover the essence of yesteryear of the stinging freshness of togetherness we once had. The distance keeps shaking and the fragile bridge keeps quaking under our weight-filled iron feet, until we have no bond. Still we keep building to make this stronger, but still we never seem to get across.

If you see me, wouldn't you spend an hour to tell me how you really feel? The thoughts that run through your head as your bright eyes glance my way and your sublime figure floats just that centimeter closer, a movement that, if I wasn’t looking so intently, I would have never noticed. My rambling babblings to you are the sea that keeps you away from me; a wave of regrets, a tide of times vicious

Raven clipping at my back and just a dash of cyanide to decorate the surf.

 

If you could see my feet paddling, that centimeter I shifted was pushed by all the weight in my heart I’m just not strong enough to push all that flotsam and jetsam out of the f*****g way...pieces of that broken bridge after we fell like raindrops turned to full stops on that big sheet of ocean and now when these muddy, desperate browns are so close they can taste every tone of your sky blues

The words that tear apart my heart gasp and perish on the sea salt winds

 

big serious brown pushed next to watering baby blue

and somehow there’s too much air in the room

forcing us apart

breaking every beat of a dormant heart

drop a heart break a name

drop a pretence, watch a friendship fade

I wanna get out. I wanna run away.

I wanna be close to you

 

Running at the speed of sound I can hear our melodies desperate to harmonize and make the sweet symphonies they used to but there's been no clash. Why haven't we hit yet?

 

there’s a time for everything

even a time to say goodbye

 

I can't. I wont.

 

Let the bridge quake.

Let it break.

We'll be clinging on.

 

Always, until there's nothing left but crooked fingers and memories that soothe our aching brains.

 

Twinny.

I read you like no one else.

Twinny.

Your hand will help me stand tall.

 

I hide behind these words, but I’ll never be afraid again. I'll fight the world off and even if it knocks me down in an earlier round I’ll be going down swinging, for my Twinny.

 

I’ve always entertained the idea that you were the Patrick to my Pete

Reviews

[xXotaku-girlXx]

Omigosh, I really loved it!!!! It sorta reminded me of lyrics, and I really felt the emotion!!!!! Good job 2 the both of u...^^