baby phoenix

his bedroom, my mausoleum, etc

yeah i'm still thinking abt u

and those nights in march when we were crazy

don't rub it in my face

the main thing that's on repeat is how easily i could curl into u like a fractal

or embed myself like a tiny seashell into yr bed of seaweed or yr literal bed i guess

but beyond that i am attempting to be "realistic" and come to terms

with the idea that the pink glitter of our affection or affectations

was actually just a handful of ashes created by a baby phoenix 

that lived and died for years in yr basement bedroom

while we watched and laughed about it or cried about it or both

how f*****g symbolic tho, considering how we'd burst into flames, too

then crumble so softly into bed sheets made up of our own violet or violent feathers

so what i'm really saying is:

i think i should probably be as far away from u as i can right now

at least until i manage to completely untangle u from my heartstrings

because i am relatively sure that if i look at u with my actual eyes again

i'll see the same 142 lb demigod that i fawned over forever

posing pretty on a beige couch like a panther or one of yr french girls (lol)

sucking a vape mod intensely in order to produce admittedly captivating clouds

and then all of those rushing and blushing fallacies

that used to infiltrate the walls of my most precious convex organ

will fall back into my submissive palms -

palms of which i'm trying to convince myself

would much rather hold my breath than yr oblivion

Author's Note

this is silly

Reviews

[Darian B.]

Wow, your poetry is definitely unique ( I know you get that a lot but I just thought I would repeat it for my own analysis). I like your imagery though because there are many layers that allow people to fit your poem s to their own situation while still leaving an overall clear purpose. I would have to say that this poem is my favorite that you have written so far, partially because I absolutely love the Phoenix analogy, but also because the way you play with emotions makes me feel almost like a Phoenix in the reincarnation cycle. It starts out as a pile of ash in the first stanza with a feeling of near remorse, you are brought to life through his memories and the thought of the baby Phoenix. Then seemingly all of a sudden you burst into flames as you think about how it happened to your relationship and finally you turn to ash in the last two lines. I don't if you meant to do this or ( I like to think that you did) but either way, it's awesome. Great piece!

[kitty blur]

oh my gosh, i never even looked at the poem as the cycle of the phoenix itself! god, i wish i would've done that on purpose, and i'm so flattered that you think i thought that far ahead lol. thank you for your review and your encouragement, it means a lot to me. :)

[TricksyCoy]

The comparison of your affection for this person to a phoenix's ashes is potent. It speaks of a once powerful relationship now reduced to almost nothing, yet it retains that possibility of renewal, a possibility you explore in the last two stanzas. That burning affection also expresses danger, which can be the danger of returning to this person or the general potential for affection to burn those caught in its flames. I very much enjoyed this, and your unique style adds a flavor to your work that I've legitimately never seen before. Keep it up!

[kitty blur]

Your interpretation of my poem was incredible. It's like you went past the surface of what I wrote and showed me things that I wasn't even thinking about while I was writing - but those feelings are totally accurate. Did you enter my subconscious and pull all of that out? You mentioned danger, and the possibility of renewal, and those two things are basically the core aspects of my relationship with this person. So glad you understood that and said it back to me in a way that made me realize that, too.

Thank you so much, I'm flattered to hear that you enjoyed my writing style. :)