black mold

i'm not sure how many different ways i can write about the same demigod

the thing is that i'm sitting here on the kitchen counter

trying to determine the easiest and very best way

to sugarcoat a corpse and make it look attractive

let's talk about the slipknots u skillfully twisted into my hair

or the way my cherry tongue is tied to u like a noose

instead of addressing the eternity growing between us

like unruly vines or black mold

remember how i sucked on yr fingers and yr icarus wings

it's arbitrary info now but u tasted like ripe fruit 

because i was high and u have a way of making me adore u

and adorn u with baby fallacies and blackberries

i should really do something

about the scent of yr sweat on the bro tank that i borrowed

but also i shouldn't do anything because like

how else will i remember the details of yr wicked flesh

when i'm not pulling it around myself like an afghan

i used to mourn in the morning pretty much daily

now i just flinch at the sight of white cars

or any german-manufactured vehicle

i want to believe that u were simply a mirage that i put a name to

but u were more like a mental scab that i kept picking at 

until it bled that triumphant mercury that pulled me back into u

Author's Note

writing style perpetually informal

Reviews

[anupriya]

amazing it was and all of u please read my book the haunted house

[JBoone]

This was really good. Your imagry is unbelievable. Your style is truly unique and pure. The flow is perfect.

[Atewhs]

This is such a beautiful piece of writing. Absolutely loved it. Your way of using cool metaphors to provide a description of certain entity makes me wonder all the time I read your poems.

[Erika Maass]

Well I've been thinking about your poetry for a couple of days and it has intrigued me (and my husband) and left me with these questions do you use the language as a device ? Or is it just how you're comfortable ? Do you write pen to paper like this or is this electronic communication?
I really like your honesty and how you unashamedly write about where sex meets hate, disgust, addiction, how someone can break you mentally and weaken you physically. .. this is my favourite poem I really like the last paragraph in particular.

[UnapologeticPoet]

Love love love your writing style in this. I feel the emotion that was poured into this and it is refreshing to see someone so open in their works.

[Esteban Luis Soto]

As mentioned before in previous reviews, I enjoy your informal style. It's refreshing to read, especially for me, being that I tend to write more formal. Great word choice as well. I can feel your pain and longing through the screen :)

[kitty blur]

thank you! i'm so glad that you liked it :)

[LastMonth]

Let's talk about the quote at the start. The Summary of your story.
Who is this Demigod? Why is he considered such?
That's an intriguing part I'd love to understand more.

This is clearly about sorrow. Yet it was bred from the happiest memories. One have to wonder if in the end, despite all the pain and regret, was it not worth it?

Your style is unique. I'd have to try real hard to write like that. And it would feel unnatural for me.
Do I love it or hate it?

I'm not quite sure. This is obviously being executed on purpose, and to that end you do well in making it feel natural and unforced.

Other then that,
The poem is well written and impactful, good job.

[kitty blur]

The demigod is simply a guy that I feel like I worshiped too much over the past couple of yours. I don't want to call him a god, but I romanticized him so much that I feel like calling him a half-god makes sense. It's not really a serious name or a serious feeling - it's more like a bad joke, some black humor about how much I cared about him and loved him, in a way that I feel some people treat the god(s) in their own religion.

Do you love it or do you hate it? I always get mixed reviews, but I've some to terms with that. At least you saw it as natural and unforced, because I think that I write without a filter and I'm proud of myself for that. :)

Thank you for your review, and I'm glad you considered this silly little thing impactful.

[kitty blur]

*years, not yours. My bad.

[LastMonth]

Oh, there is absolutly nothing silly about it.
And thank you for the explanation regarding the man.
Love it or hate it..? I'm not sure.

I think it has the potential to grow on me.
Like, this is a very bad example, but sometimes when an Actor shows up at a movie you read as a book your first reaction is 'Wtf, why did they take that guy, he's not even the right skin color for the character, and he's too smiley in his other movies.'' But you end up absolutly f*****g loving his performence. So I'll need to read more of your pieces to make up my mind.

[kitty blur]

Haha, thank you for that image. :)

[The Nude Writer]

I love your informal writing style. And nothing pisses me off more than someone correcting my grammar and not talking about my story. General statement.

This is a very cool poem :)

[kitty blur]

first, thank you for yr compliment on my informal writing. :) i used to get a lot of mixed reviews about it - people either love it or absolutely hate it. and yeah, ignoring the story by correcting all of the "grammar issues" in a poem upsets me, too, especially because i do it on purpose lol.

[The Nude Writer]

It's like telling Picasso "That's not where the nose goes" It's your art :) hehe.

[Juss]

I visioned most of this, your choice of words really put an image to the whole thing and put me in a place of observation. Observing my relationships and how they can be so right but so wrong. The last two lines honestly spoke to me the most because I've felt that way. When you know something isn't right but you keep messing with it, you keep letting it evolve. LOVED IT!

[kitty blur]

I'm blushing - I'm glad that my poem made you feel all of that, and gave you a chance to have a little introspection about your own connections with people.

In all honestly, the last two lines are my favorite, too. I scribbled that on a napkin while I watched someone actually scratch at a scab on their hand... kind of gross, but hey, inspiration is everywhere, right? Lol.

Thanks for your review. :)

[Inject Positivity]

Very thought provoking, I think your word choices are fantastic, the poem starts in a passionate note and ends with how the relationship turned out like mirage to the poet... I believe people can relate to this poem and it's inherited message... Very well done...

Sincerely
Dhiman

[kitty blur]

Thank you so much, I'm glad you think others can relate :) Isn't that why we write, to connect with others and find similarities between our experiences and theirs in order to feel less alone?