rose in whiskey

this is me coping w losing a friend because we did drugs in his basement.

no one will say anything abt it

so now i'm looking into chromotherapy

or different ways to wash my brain

of all those rosy and interesting chemicals

that we licked off of each others' fickle fingers

because on that night or one prior

i'm pretty sure that u planted a chip into my neck

(like ramona flowers) when u choked me

and i think i'm feeling bitter now

due to the fractals and false facts

lodged (relatively deep) under my fingernails

from trying to scratch it out

but by now, you've got yr own smile

whatever that means

i can't hear u say those three words:

the "i'm so sorry" or the "not yr fault"

because then i might consider forgiving u

and possibly even embracing u w open arms

when we inevitably get star-crossed at the next rave

and cross paths (like Fate at its Finest) near the water fountain

i hope yr happy now because that's what i'm supposed to say

it's "funny" how 3.5 years can be discounted

by one molly-induced handjob

i wonder how easy it could be to drop u like a metaphor, too

i'm trying my best to cope and somehow my resolution

is to move to washington

maybe it's a way to run away from all of my issues

but maybe it's just a way of convincing myself that u nvr existed, anyway

u were just a grotesquely intimate daydream

which now clings to my skin like a stubborn shadow

yr basically a rose floating in a glass of whiskey

that i keep trying to pick up w/o it causing it to fall apart

too bad that u suck at keeping yrself together

maybe she'll encourage u to fix that by sniffing glue again

it's okay - i'm watching cigarettes burn like mini solar eclipses

at least it's something that i have control over

Author's Note

writing informally is kind of my thing. i apologize in advance to those who don't really like text-talk.

Reviews

[Cyn]

You're unique. Feeling your style. Keep it up.

I can't help but relate to the hopelessness conveyed in lines such as "that i keep trying to pick up w/o it causing it to fall apart" and "at least it's something that i have control over"

The push and pull of love/lust, huh?

[Tristin Sky]

Scott Pilgrim reference. I loved it and very deep meaningful writing. I love your creativity and the details in the problems are flawless.

[Scarlett Snow]

Your writing carries a unique style, and you manage to deliver such deep emotions through casual words. I hope to read more of your intriguing writings :)

[kitty blur]

thank you so much! i do enjoy mixing my heaving thought with the mundane, and i'm glad that you enjoyed it, too :)

[Nia Lisa]

Wow, you are such an intelligent and deep person, your poems reflect that.

[Nia Lisa]

Btw, who are you referring to in this line from your poem? ''maybe she'll encourage u to fix that by sniffing glue again'' is that the narrator in the poem or someone else?

[kitty blur]

First off, thank you for those kind words. It means a lot to me. :)

As for the 'she': that's someone else, that's the girlfriend of the person I'm writing about lol.

[Nia Lisa]

No problem! and oh okay

[WayneJr]

I loved reading this... It was really raw and real and I really appreciate reading raw feelings. I love how you use freeverse and your metaphors and symbolism make me feel like I understand exactly what you're feeling. A situation like that has to be tough to cope with but I love that you were able to turn those feelings into art.

[kitty blur]

Thank you so much for reviewing my work. :) I really appreciate that you thought it was raw and real. That's part of why I love writing informally - it's up-front and unedited. I can get my feelings across without sounding too serious about them, and that helps me sort it all out. Gosh, I'm flattered. Thanks again.