I am Here

I lie to myself so often

I wonder if anybody

Actually trusts a word I say.

I create this barrier around myself

To protect me from me.

I no longer fear the world around me –

My thoughts are the scariest of all.

I know not who I am

Or where I am going.

All I know is that I am here.

But where is ‘here’?

Why is it so dark and gloomy?

Why does it fill me

With such dread?

Why does it feel so familiar?

Have I been ‘here’ before?

My God, I have!

In fact this is the place

I lived my whole life!

But it looks so different –

So much darker,

So much scarier.

But this is it –

The hell I have grown up in.

My God, I’m back!

NO!!!!!

It can’t be!!!

Please, don’t let it be!

I fought so hard to get out of here!

This cannot be the same place!

Please, I need to get out!

I died here once,

Please, I beg of you,

Please don’t let me die here again…

 

Copyright©JosieWentzel04July2008