Dancing On The Seam Of Love

Across the dance floor

I see you there,

Whispering words of love

Into her soft golden hair.

 

But love is a strong word

That I can only recite;

Knowing not why my bones feel rigid

And my lungs so tight.

 

For months I knew I'd rew the day

I was ever born.

To see him hold her in that way

Brings new meaning to feeling torn.

 

My ears capture the sound

Of her angelic laugh.

I feel like sinking to the ground

Cause all your words seem daft.

 

But all I do is look away

And hope you say it's all a dream.

I'd do anything to get past this day

And out of this light-filled dancing beam. 

Reviews

[Emerald Seas]

This has a youthful tone to it... a feeling of jilted love, but not knowing or understanding how to deal with the emotions that come with the feelings of rejection as he holds another in his arms. "To see him hold her in that way brings new meaning to feeling torn." Definitely a great line! Well written

[M]

I love the sentiment of the poem, though I am partial to sad poetry. I Would only suggest rethinking the last line of the 4th stanza since it doesn't seem that the speaker is talking to the guy while she is thinking this. I think it's a great poem though and really gets across the sense of longing and loneliness. :D

[Crazy Cat Man]

For months I knew I'd rew the day
I was ever born.
To see him hold her in that way
Brings new meaning to feeling torn.

YIKES!!!! Definately had that feeling before......when my ex broke up with me then i ran into her with a guy with his hands all over her at a club. totally heartbreaking

this piece is amazing. u are def. a poet!

[Mauricio Montoya]

great piece the words just blend in.

[ThIsDaRkRoAdToNoWhErE]

Aw, great piece :} Kinda brought tears to me hehe. I can relate to this a lot. Not about a dance party, but in the workplace, really. I felt her emotions a lot tho. Heartbreakingly beautiful :)

[Meghan]

I really like this! You can definitely feel the hurt and sadness of the speaker through the poem. Like Zachary said, the last stanza is striking and ends the poem well.

[Zachary_James]

So lovely, every emotion you wrote i felt. This is stunning that last stanza it struck right to the heart...

[Kora Williams]

Wow. Like Sirrah said it has a youthful tone, and I feel myself wanting to hold whoever it is that has to go through this. Well done . :)