Masacre

this poem is from the point of view of a native american girl who watches as her family and tribe are killed by raging white people she describes as "the men in blue".

i stand upon this hill

and watch in horror

as men in blue coats and guns

ride fast twords my villiage.

i can see, even from here,

the evil in there eyes.

my people, my family

look up in astonishment as

the evil ones break through our camp.

i'm running now

i need to help.

our warriors scatter, frantically

grabbing their bows;

ready to fight to the death.

the women; my mother and sisters

grab the little ones.

it's caos now,

so much blood.

the blue men are killing

my brothers, my father.

they shoot holes through the men i love.

I'm here now,

but i dont know what to do.

the sound of screams fill my head.

there tearing apart my home,

riping down our camp,

smashing our belongings.

there killing everybody

even the women, the children-

and we cant stop them.

these blue men have no mercy,

i doubt a soul lives in any one of them.

it's a masacre surrounding me.

i watch as my best friend falls

under the feet of an evil mans horse,

his eyes some how hold victory.

i turn to see my love

tumble from his noble stead

as a lead ball is shot through his chest.

i want to run to him, to save him,

but the bodies between us

grow to great.

by my feet, the ax of a fallen soldier lays.

i reach down numbly

and grasp it in my hands;

the handle is staind with red.

i think faintly of the time

my father showed me

how to hold it, how to thow it

with perfect accuracy.

but this - this maddness was never taught.

a blue man looks at me,

his eyes alight with hate.

he raises his gun, a smile spreading

across his face.

i dont run, i dont fight,

for i'd rather die and go with my family

than stay here, in a world

i now know holds men so evil.

and with that i close my eyes

and take my last breath,

as a man in blue

murders me cold.

Reviews

[Kyle]

This is vivid and well written. There are some spelling errors...several. But the words are passionate and intense.

[Brook Hughes]

This poem has a nice flow to it and is well written besides some of the spelling. But its all good:) lolz:) This poem is sooo sad:( But well written and keep up the good work:)

[Sunflower 20]

nice poem. i loved the emotions hidden behind each sentence, and my only critisism would be to edit it, but other than that, really nicely done! :)

[SilentDreamer]

Good point of view. Sad ending. Nicely done.

[Adam Lain]

Good story. Even in prose it seemed like more of a story, but I didn't say it was a bad one. I guess the only criticism I have is for you to spell check. It distracts the reader from your piece. Thanks for the RR ;D

[Meghan]

I LOVED this piece. The whole setting of the story intrigued me and I enjoyed reading every bit of it. Thank you so much for sharing!

[J Todd Underhill]

Great piece, I loved it! I have to say I am from Livingston MT and saw you were from my old stomping grounds as well. I am wondering if the crow people inspired this a little bit. Whether or not this was a fine write.

[Brianna]

this is really awesome, i liked the whole setting of the story. Native american stories fascinate me, and i feel like this had a lot of power in it that described the struggles the native american tribes had to face while fighting for their land against greater, more evil forces... like the U.S. army who took their land.
anyways, awesome story/poem, i kind of thought that in the end, instead of him shooting her, you were going to have her kill herself with the axe in order to starve the soldier of the satisfaction he'd get from killing her. That would have been cool too, but still,
its awesome :)
Forever,
~Chey

[Kat]

I really like this!! I think its a really different point of view and its well written. Flows nicely, and i liked it a lot. (: