Akin to fear

I have this feeling in my heart,

And I don’t know what it is.

I know it’s not love;

I’ve experienced that twice before,

And neither ended well.

It’s not anger;

I’ve been all too familiar with that one.

The strange thing is, though,

That it feels akin to fear.

I think it may be fear that my mind will stray,

Stray to the forbidden things.

Although I desperately want to think of them,

Long months of habit prevent me.