Dear Girl, I Don't Know Anymore

this started as a letter to myself. hope you like it

 

dear girl i don't know anymore,

what happened to you?
what happened to the person you were?
where did that girl go? what happened?
why can't you just be ok?

 you know those things are bad for you
yet, you want them more

a downward girl-crash
can only happen so many times
before they take you off of life support
before they pull the plug

addicted to things that don't matter
 and you don't know how to deal.

things were never supposed to go this far
it was never supposed to hurt this much

wake the f**k up, girl

that isn't reality it's just the 
sun blaring in your eyes
and i realize something

suddenly
i realize

i hate you so much.
i hate this so much.
hating you
hating myself.

and girl you are brainwashing yourself into believing nonsense.

listen to everything around you
is it worth this?
is it worth wanting to throw up everytime you do something for yourself?

your self-doubt is like something out of a movie, girl.
you can't live your life in fear.

fall.
fall. falling.
fall

thats all you seem to know how to do anymore.
break me down. break you down.

crimes. you didn't commit
clouding your judgement.

you think you don't deserve happiness.

you need to come back,
everyone misses you
everyone misses

the girl that cared about important things
the girl that was
going to change the world

what happened to that girl?

she has become
something
anything

and it's this on-going love affair
with self-hatred
and emotional massochism

never self-acceptance
never who you are

come back, girl
we miss you

-love girl who doesn't know you anymore.

Reviews

[Star Catcher]

That was really insightful into the way human behavior works. We do things we don't want to, even if we know they're wrong. I find myself agreeing with the girl writing the letter. I miss the old girl too, even if I never knew her.