December 6, 2009-10:08am

December 6, 2009

10:08am

 

                “What do you think of this one, Kristen?” Melissa asks. I quickly look away from the section of clothes where I’ve spotted Lara long enough to pay attention to Melissa. The third changing room door unlocks and opens. Melissa slides out in a strapless red dress that blossoms out at the bottom reminding me of a rose flipped upside down. It comes down to her ankles and flows beautifully. I quickly give a small nod of approval even though I still think the first dress Melissa had tried on was better. But Melissa was already twirling and straining to look at herself at all angles in the full length mirror on the wall. She obviously likes the dress. I will admit it’s pretty. She looks pretty in whatever she wear honestly, but I still think that the blue silk was more her style. I wasn’t going to say this though. I really just want to leave as soon as possible. I feel sick and fidgety. I’d completely forgotten that I’d agreed to come shopping with Melissa this Sunday until this morning. She had to go to a formal dinner with her parents next weekend and wanted to look nice. Normally, I would love being her company, since as her best friend I’m obligated to go with her anyway, but today is just not a good day. I’m too jumpy to focus on her. Usually, being away from the department helped me. It was nice… Even though, they were still watching…

                “I like the design.” Melissa says. I think it would be better with sleeves. Of course, then I supposed it wouldn’t be Melissa’s style at all. Bear shoulders were just another way she could catch someone’s eye. I watch silently as Melissa pins up her hair in a way she thinks will suit the dress. With her long black locks and curved frame, she does look good.

                Movement in the store pulls my attention away from her. I’m far too jumpy. I begin to search for Lara again. I know she’s still here. I panic a moment when I don’t see her, but then I spot her leaning causally in the jean section watching us with a bored expression. She locks eyes with me a moment before smirking and moving to pretend to look at some jeans. I continuing staring feeling safer to know where she is in the store.

                “Whatcha looking at, Kristen?” Melissa is suddenly at my side. She attempts to follow my gaze and so I quickly switch it to the exit lines. She smiles at me. “I know. We’ve been here forever, I just can’t make up my mind. I don’t want my dad complaining I’m not dressed up enough.” I feel immediately bad for rushing her but remain silent as she goes back to the changing room to redress in her normal clothes. I’m relieved we’ll be leaving soon. There’s too much going on today for me to enjoy being here.

                Melissa exits the room dressed in jeans and an orange shirt with some kind of swirly design. It’s street clothes. We both agree the color brown, or department uniform color, is just awful. So, when we don’t have to wear it, we don’t.

                “Okay, now honestly, Kristen, which one?” Melissa holds up both dresses. The red one she just one is in her right hand and the ocean blue silk dress is in her other. I take no hesitation in pointing to the red dress. It’s not my honest opinion, but it’s the one she’s looking for. She smiles at my decision nodding her head in agreement. “You read my mind. Blue is good, but the red is definitely better.” I nod again to show my acknowledgement and then take the blue dress from her to go return it to the racks. “I’ll go pay for this, okay?” I make a small humming noise to tell her I understand and continue making my way to the dress section.

                I move quickly avoiding people. Most don’t even notice me walking by. That’s okay. I’m not looking to be noticed. As I scan the racks for the proper place, I see Lara watching me. I immediately look away from her focusing on the rack. Usually Hudson’s people don’t approach me in public. I figure it’s safe to ignore her.

                I hang up the dress and turn to go to the checkout lines when a hand pulls on my arm preventing me. I stop and resist my urge to cry out in alarm. I turn around quickly, eyes wide and careful. Lara thrushes a small manual at me. “Davis says to read that.” Lara tells me before walking off as if nothing had happened. I glance down at the small paper pages stapled together. It’s a manual to an ear wig. I feel some hope creep in me for the first time today. This has to mean that Davis has some kind of plan. It even means that Davis could be guiding me through the whole process. I fold the manual quickly and shove it in my pocket before turning to head back to Melissa.

                “Hey, was that Lara?” Melissa demands rolling her eyes. She and Lara weren’t on good terms at the moment. They tended to flip back and forth. Most times they were friends, but occasionally they had their spews. I can’t remember what this one is about. I shrug in response to Melissa, but I don’t think she notices. She’s ranting. I phase out, my thoughts drifting on later today. I want to pull the manual out and read it now, but I don’t know how I would explain my sudden interest in ear gear to Melissa. I still had time. The manual couldn’t be more than twelve pages judging by the size.

                My attention snaps back to Melissa when I hear the register chime. The purchase was obviously done. She’s oblivious to the fact I haven’t heard a word she’s been saying and I’m glad. We begin to walk out the store.

                “So, me and Hudson are going to watch Scream later on.” She tells me as we enter the parking lot. I flinch at Hudson’s name but she doesn’t notice. She misses a lot. I haven’t a clue on what the movie she’s just mentioned is about. I’m sure I don’t want to know. Melissa pauses looking over at me. “You could join if you want.” I shake my head ‘no’. I can hear she wants me to and I would normally say yes even if scary movies weren’t my thing, but I can’t. She knows I hate scary movies and so sighs not pushing the matter any further. “I know, I know. Anti-horror fan. Just thought I’d offer. If you change your mind though…” She trails off opening the back seat door of her grey Chevy. She places her dress laying across the seat to prevent it from getting wrinkled and I jump into the passenger’s seat. In the car would be the prefect time to admit things to her, because we’re truly alone. There’s so much I want to tell her, but I can’t help to think they have her car wired too. Extreme paranoia keeps me quiet. I don’t even know what Melissa would do if she knew.

                Melissa flips on the radio to fill in some of the silence and begins discussing latest news ranging from teachers she hates to something she’d seen on TV a couple of days ago. I’m thinking about how four months ago, I would’ve been conversing back excitedly with her, just as passionate about the topics as she was, and who we would be singing loudly to the music on the radio. I think about how lively the car as back then. It’s almost sad to think about. Now, I barely listen. My thought are always on what to do next and how to survive. I don’t know how or why Melissa puts up with me.