January

The lies we tell ourselves.

“I’m fine,” she whispers,
stirring her coffee with a plastic straw - 
her eyes wide and wandering,
dreaming of someplace else.

Reviews

[RibbonRoad]

Wow. You packed so much into like 2 senteces. So beautiful.

[Kyle]

Ok. This is still making me wonder what happens next........

[Miss Fox]

Good god. I really love your work, sure, but this one is just... stunning. Such an intricate picture is painted with so few words. So far, this is my favorite. But I do have more of your work to dive into, and I can't wait.

[A.D. Wilson]

This a miniature story in itself. Very intriguing. It makes me wonder who she is with, where she wants to be, and why she seems so unhappy.

[*[_Natasha_]*]

ah yes, i think we've all told that infamous lie 'i'm fine'. nicely done

[Celeste21]

"Liar" I whisper back
Dragging my coat off the chair
And walk out
Letting stale silence
Linger in her drink

Love this!!!

[Duane Klinger]

SHORT AND POWERFUL! In four lines you told an entire story. A deep internal struggle, a harsh realization. INCREDIBLE CARTER! Absolutely incredible. I'm a novelist, for me to do what you've just done is positively impossible. Wow. . .that's all I can say.

[Buddhistboy73]

Mmm...these words do so much with so little.....
I love the second line in particular - "stirring her coffee with a plastic straw".....I feel the imagery here, it's like I'm next to the girl in the cafe I imagine in my mind....
good job...:)

[Aleyah]

this is interestingly intriguing, although short, it's descriptive and it captures a lot of what people do...nice :)