My Fault...

             I can still remember his carefree laugh and devil-may-care attitude. He was wild and adventurous. That was why I loved him so much...or at least why I had loved him so much. That was from the days before what the agents of the Diamond Division called The Incident. The Incident left me crying my heart out...forgeting what I still had left.

            The Incident almost claimed my life. I guess it didn't because I had gave it something else as a bargain. I gave it a part of my heart that would never heal. I should have listened to my heart instead of the Director. I still had time to finish the mission successfully. I should've saved him...I should had noticed what was happening to him in the first place....

             When you're a spy and have to face the challenges he did, you would understand. Seeing all the chaos and madness around every corner really gets to you. Sometimes, you could handle it. Other times, you lose it and become the force of chaos itself. If you can't control it, that fragile door between you and insanity will open...letting out the force of madness you had hidden in you all this time. I should had noticed he wasn't one of the lucky ones...I should had helped him...He trusted me with his life...I had let him down.

              Now every time I go to sleep, I can't help but cry a little. I knew the whole truth. It was my fault something pandemonic would occur the next day. It was my fault if there would be a mass murder. It was my fault...because I didn't save him... I left him to die while I followed the Director's orders...

              I had hurt him...and he hurt me back. It is how the Spy Games are played. We had been the best team of the division. Now I can't help but wonder, how much does he want me dead?