Blue Blood Shot Eyes

the thoughts of how resolving and restarting might or might not be so great. also the ideas of becoming normal or to simulate with the giving up of the individual idea of self confidence.

days merge with the tick tocking of my thoughts unfinished by the works of my closed eyes. while entertaining thoughts of what could of happened to thoughts of what did happen. those mindless hours thinking and what's the product of all those minutes in those hours that go on for a day and end up being forgotten the next morning. most of the hours of the day should be helping you advance your self so you dont have to dream because you're already living it and not regretting those actions that will surely advance you forward so to not hope but know. so what are the chains pulling us back and imprisoning us to only look at the key that can free us but never grasping it with our own hands. 

“Practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, so why practice?” Kurt Cobain. when i was in elementary i believed that each night ,we (humans) would some how evaporate then regenerate back to our physical forms, so i believed that each day was a fresh start and  what good happened yesterday i would try to recreate and what bad happened  i would forget. never the less i soon saw that my hypothesis was incorrect and my data only being limited personal experience was also unfactual to my hypothesis. but the ideology of the idea that each day could be restarted was something i  outgrow because various  environmental factors and cultural factors. but like every living organism  we can adapt and i don't mean change, i might mean to simulate to what society's norm is or what it was.

"Freedom is the right to tell people what they do not want to hear." George Orwell. once or more you have probably felt cr*ppy or even sh*tty. then  trying  to resolve without realizing or scratching the surface of the problem because who wants to change or be better than that once true concept of being a individual. but we are demanding of things and thus are environment is demanding of  your simulation. as long as we bring out some confidence of what could or will happen, we might sleep easier without the justification of others saying  "we can't be what we are".

truly the endless seconds that take us to think of a answer to "what if" is endless. even if that may be true or may not be true, the idea of a fresh start,to be normal, and to be without doubt of your own resolve is just another concept that i have failed to find. so if you're reading this and you can sympathise with these thoughts, i can only say that a blind person who's giving directions, will only make you even more lost then you already are.