May 794

May 3rd, Imperial Year 794.
Father showed up at the Crow not two days from Daniel and Ferrons fight. He demanded to know what had happened that Daniel was arrested, and that I was staying at the Crow sharing a room with a young man he had no knowledge of.
I informed him that I had forfeit my birthrights. That I had chosen the path that I wanted, and that I refused to go back to the mansion.
Father said that if I needed to rebel then I could get over it quick. Daniel was bailed out of jail and was on a ship to the Officers Academy for the Imperial Navy, and that upon his completion I was going to marry him, the date had already been set.

I told him that he needed to realize that I was human, and not one of his obedient hounds. He said that if I was one of his hunting dogs he would have thought me diseased and disposed of me appropriately a long time ago.

I told him that if he wanted a doll he could afford to order one. I wasn't going back. He then informed me I had no choice, and took me by the arm. I fought with all my might, but the time I spent sitting in the mud, pared with the sleep I lost worrying over Ferron had caught up to me and my chest failed me again.
I tried to scream for help, but the fit of coughing that took me had taken any chance I had at objecting.

Then it happened. The horrible truth of my condition. The coughing seemed to be getting worse and father sat me in a chair reaching to hand me a kerchief, but I had already covered my face with my hands.

And there splattered across my palms were the dark spots that spelled my death. It might as well have been a number, or a booming voice that shouted out that I was going to die.  The entire room fell silent as Ferron pushed past my father to lift me in his arms. I tried to tell him to leave me, but he shook his head and hushed me. He said that I needed to see the doctor, and it would be faster if he just took me, rather then bringing the doctor to me.

Ferron said that I fell unconscious, and that I have been asleep for a week. He said that I had scared Father so that he nearly cried. He believed that I was going to go just as Mother had, but that the doctor said that I simply couched so hard that it caused something to break, but that he didn't think I was nearly so sick.

As soon as I am freed to travel I am being moved to a hospital in Ganderu.

I hate my chest.
I hate it.



May 4th, Imperil Year 794.
I hate this. Every minute of confinement is torture.  I have been trapped in the doctors spare room. My father had forbid Ferron from seeing me. Ferron has forbid Daniel, though I believe Father said that he has already left for the academy.
And the doctor had bid Father from seeing me, saying that it would only make my condition worse if I stressed or shouted.

By now I feel death would be easier.



May 5th, Imperial Year 794.
I try, I truly do, to listed, pay attention, and be polite. But on my own grave I swear that if the poor doctors mother tried to cheer me up one more time with a conversation that she herself can't even follow I may well run through the streets screaming like a madwoman just to end it all.

Also the doctor doesn't want me to speak. Said that my latest sickness was because I must have bruised my lungs so badly that my coughing fit caused them to rupture?

I don't understand it. All I know is that I am stuck here in a room that smells like death with a woman older that time, a doctor who I am losing faith in daily, and I can't even object. The only thing that is beneficial is that neither Daniel or Father can bother me.

I am losing my mind.



May 6th, Imperial year 794.
I can't think of anything nice to say. I thought to write every expletive I learned from the Baccarat crew, but I suppose that is a bit in the extreme.



May 7th, Imperial Year 794.
Thank all things holy. Ferron brought a stack of books, and though they wouldn't let him come it, and I am still not permitted to speak, stretch, sneeze, cough, walk, or even think so intently it might lead me to using more air that I need, I was permitted the books.

Perhaps I wont die of boredom, but I may still die from this quack.
I wish I could have been taken by mothers doctor. Or Ghost. Or any doctor other then this man and his mother.



May 13th Imperial Year 794.
I could cry, if that wasn't on the list of things I am not allowed to do, out of frustration. I finished the last book yesterday. There is no hope for me but that they are moving me to Ganderu tomorrow.

If it is anything as insane as this I hope I die on the journey!



May 15th, Imperial Year 794.
I am settled in in a hospital in Ganderu. I was so happy to see a sane person that I fell to tears of frustration and described the entire ordeal to them. They seemed quote startled and seemed to think that the public doctor there in Eaux Reves was as mad as any doctor could come. Thankfully I am free of the insanity that he practiced, however they said that they suspect that he was wrong in the diagnosis as well, and they was to run several tests to see to my well being.

I also have learned that my Father has no say in what I am allowed, or who can and cannot visit me, That I have been able to make that call from the day I was sixteen.

I hope that I can reach Ghost. Perhaps she will come and visit me.



May 19th, Imperial Year 794.
They said that they believe that my condition could be treated with close observation and antibiotics.
I tried to explain that they tried all of those on Mother, and that it had no effect. They insist that both Mother and I both contracted a disease before we moved away from Brunnen.

I know they are wrong. I know that mother had all for the treatments and that there was nothing that could help her, but at least I will let them try.



May 22nd, Imperial Year 794.
I am tired. My arm hurts. My chest hurts. They can't find a single sign of this illness. All traces seem to be gone.
They have taken what feels like gallons of blood.
They have given me shots, breathing treatments, and tests at all hours, measuring my breathing and my heart. They can find nothing. No reason for my fevers or sudden weakness, the coughing, the breathing problems, the blood...
Everything is gone and as far as they can tell I am in good health.
Just like Mother.

At least Ghost has come by to see me a few times. She brings her books and studies in my room. Even her silence is a comfort. At least I'm not alone.



May 23rd, Imperial Year 794.
I am livid. Furious. I have run out of words I can guiltlessly use to describe my rage.
Father lied to me.
And it's worse. He made promises on my behalf and a wedding date has been set.

Daniel was not rushed away to the academy. He was rushed to a doctor in Ganderu to have the bullet taken from his thigh. He can't go to the Academy until he is able to completely hide the injury. So much as a limp and he is going to be rejected.

You only get one chance.

The Academy can never learn of his injury. They can never learn that he was taken into custody and was going to face a trial for attempted murder and assault!
And because his family is rich they wont ever find out.
He can learn to hide his limp, and the accusations will never leave Eaux Reves.
Father knows. Father helped saying that I was simply being dramatic, that I have been suffering so from my mothers loss that I have gone insane. He requested to have me confined to this hospital for madness.
Funny, they seem to think I am the picture of sanity.

I have every intention of Daniel Barrett's true face being shown to the world.
I will sooner die that marry that monster.
And Father is the one who is suffering insanity. I am starting to hate him, I believe.



May 24th, Imperial Year 794.
I received a telegram from Rosalie today, and I admit I was shocked as they are expensive, and can only be sent from the office of the authority. She said that Alder was in an accident, and that if I am able she would like me to come.
I asked Ghost to go when she came to study. She didn't even sit. She handed me her books, nodded, and walked out the door.

I don't think I will ever understand her.

I am getting a carriage and will be departing first thing tomorrow.



May 26th, Imperial Year 794.
I arrived late yesterday afternoon. Ghost was grim, darker than usual, and Rosalie hysterical. Her father had come to be with her, trying to calm her, whispering words of comfort in the strange tongue that they use among themselves.

Rosalie's father explained that Alder and two others had planned to open a specialty shop where the fuel engines could be built and repaired. That because there are so few harbors that offer that service trade is slow and limited and that outside of the Navy and a very few private ships, there is no interest in fuel powered ships, as only navy engineers can repair and maintain them. Alder and his two companions had been studying carefully and finally had the chance to repair a private vessel.

Something had gone wrong and the fuel tank exploded. One man was killed instantly, the other is in critical condition.

And then Rosalie cried out begging that her father stop. He threw his arms around her, smothering her in his embrace.

I turned to Ghost as softly as possible and asked what the outcome was. She shook her head and said that even though she had rushed over, and that the Pastor was a military doctor before he took up the mantle of the gods, there was little that could be done. They lost the second man last night, and they didn't expect Alder to make it through the night.

Rosalie is hysterical. They said she has been since the accident, that she was among the first on the scene, as she threw down her wash and ran the minute she heard the explosion.

About two hours later he took his last breath in her arms. She gripped him refusing to let go, well until after dark when she finally caved to her own exhaustion.



May 28th, Imperial Year 794.
The funeral was small and simple. He was laid to rest in the cemetery there in Eaux Reves. Fran was silent and broken, she hadn't even the heart to cry, Alder was the only family she had.
Rosalie was hysterical. She could be heard across the island.
The Baccarat crew and Edgar also payed their respect. Ferron was broken, though he stood strong and fought to hide it, I could see the shock and pain.

Then, as they lowered the casket into the ground, restraining Rosalie as she was fighting to hold on to him to the bitter end, rain began to fall from the clear blue sky.
Not a cloud was visible, no warning. Just a sudden downpour from heaven.

And Rosalie fell silent as if it was Alder weeping for her misery and pain. She dropped to her knees and there beside the open ground she knelt, her face turned to the sky, her eyes closed. She stayed like that until the rain stopped, and then let her head drop and sat beside him, as they slowly filled the dirt in. She refused to move from that spot, saying that for one last night she would lie beside him. When someone tried to move her Ferron stepped up and blocked the way. Her brothers took a stand and the three of them, Ferron and her two eldest brothers stood watch the entire night.
When I went with a coat and a breakfast from Quin the three of them were still standing as if they had not moved the entire night.

She shook her head when I offered her the food and said that she needed to return to the Sparrows Nest. That he was gone and that she couldn't change that no matter how long she screamed, or is she turned the entire earth up. That the God of Death was kind, and that she had to accept that it was time to face reality.

She stood and walked back to Sparrows Cove.

Reviews

[R Smith]

absolutely enthralling Kitalia, this story has me gripped even though I read it slowly and at distant times because life demands such things, even so it is an amazing tale and I love it, thank you my friend :)