Don't love

Please, please do not love me, I am ugly, I am scarred.
My face is lined with worry, with fear and pain I'm marked.
I'm broken and I'm battered, I'm damaged, I am bruised.
Tell me why you looked my way, of all who you could choose?

My voice is horse and cracking, my eyes are cold and bleak.
I've built a wall around my soul, no company I'll keep.
No one can ever reach me, within my icy halls.
There's only room for two of us to dwell inside these walls.

Please, please do not love me, as I don't come alone.
If you can break my barrier there would be three to make a home.
Don't you see the confusion, distrust, and guarded stare?
Now tell me how can you love a soul if there's no heart left there?

I am not a princess, no damsel in distress. 
I am not mild or pretty like the rest.
And I do not come alone, my companion I won't leave. 
So please, I beg you, please never fall in love with me.

I have faced the darkest battles, I'm a queen who lost her throne.
I've been tortured, I've been beaten, cold shackles I have known.
And through it all I shielded the one who is my light.
Please please do not save me from this never ending night.

I have seen the darkest dungeon and have cried out in despair.
I begged for love and comfort, but how could I find it there?
then I sacrificed my heart, I ripped it from my chest.
so that my child would have a chance to live among the blessed.

Please, please do not care, I'm spiteful and insane.
Please turn and walk away, leave me alone to face this pain.
I trusted far too quickly, my loyalty was blind.
And so I lost my kingdom, and so I lost my mind.

I am hollow, I am fragile, I'm made of ice and stone.
If you get close I'll hurt you, I'm better off alone.
I'm bitter and I'm wicked, in my head I'm still not free.
I'm not someone worth living, now go and leave me be!

I'm begging you don't love me! Don't say those wretched words!
Go back to where you came from and forget all that you heard.
Because if you should touch me, if you could break this wall
I fear that I would crumble, my defences would just fall.

So please, please do not love me,
Don't  try and mend my soul.
Don't be the one to find the heart that my abuser stole.
Don't melt the ice that keeps me from feeling tenderness,
Don't be the one who sees the true beauty behind this mess.

And once again I'll warn you, I can never love again.
I can't offer up my heart, I can't trust, I can't mend.
You're cruel to say I'm lovely, your cruel to say you care!
You're cruel to try to be the one who always waits right there.

Go away and leave me in this lonly wilderness
Let me cry alone in my sorrow and distress.
I don't want the world to see what hides beneath this stone;
A little girl that's begging for a place she can call home.

Don't be the one to pull away the firm unchanging mask.
Don't be the one to undertake this impossible task.
Don't be the one to wake me when the nightmares plague my sleep.
Don't be the one to dry my tears when I hide away and weep.

Don't fall in love with any one as broken as I.
Don't take this raging lioness, don't heal my wing so I can fly.
Don't be the one to love me, I'm begging you, please go!
But if you stay you'll learn what no others ever know.

That I'm caring, gentle, kind, and often filled with hope.
Don't be the one to see us sink, don't toss a rope.
Underneath this cloak of thorns lies beauty, passion, joy.
And all this spiteful fire is to protect one little boy.

So please, please do not love me, but should you decide to try,
Remember love us both, my son, my light, and I.
If you can mend our cracks, if your love is really pure.
Then you will know the greatest joy, that I know for sure.

So please please if you love me, if you see us as we are,
Behind the walls and darkness, Behind our battle scar.
Please know if you love me, I do not come alone.
But know that if you can love us, there is no greater home.

But if you can't I understand, we are are a fool's task. 
We are not broken and we need a love that's sure to last.
And until we find someone to love both my son and me 
To live alone in this cold fort is  theonly hope I see.

Reviews

[R Smith]

an extraordinary powerful, emotional poem that pleads for love and attention, i get the idea, he must give you love that includes all that comes with you and you really lay bare all the facts he must face, after all the hardness is past then no greater love will he find, i'm sure if he should prove worthy then any love for you would be also love for your son, all your considerable writing prowess is in this plea, a remarkable work Kitalia, bravo :)

[Kitalia Emme]

Thank you, I'm glad the message is clear.

[Chris]

The length didn't distract nor detract. There are flaws - and the rhythm has a few stumbles but the message and heart come across well. An obvious pair of typo's - hoarse as horse - and lonely as lonly.

Sometimes the price of one includes two or more - which makes the finding all that more special.

[Kitalia Emme]

Thank you! I hope to have computer access soon so I can properly edit. This will defiantly help me in that endeavor. And thank you for understanding, this is definitely one of the pieces closest to my heart,

[Chris]

you are always welcome...

[RomaJ]

Aww very beautiful and moving piece. it pulls at my heart strings. I can feel the emotion and pain in your words. Beautifully written.

[Kitalia Emme]

Thank you! And I'm sorry the spelling/format is a little rough, I'm restricted to a mobile at current.

[RomaJ]

Aww your welcome and don't worry I only use my cellphone too.