Spilt Milk.

A play on life that sometimes work.

Those digits that touched against yours now adorn,

sweet gold I've longed for since times of fun,

A time I lay dead with overpowering tasks,

of work and life alone you yielded to run.

 

 

Brushing hairs left soft in moisture and skin,

bleeding souls quake through times and states,

A smile that lights a stirring heart to fair,

leading those broken to a heavens locked gates.

 

 

Piece by piece and kiss by kiss you take,

a child and turn him to man no longer alone,

For he needs nothing but your hand in his,

you seated him against odds and ends throne.

 

 

Feel free to mock those happier than you,

a past screams that I join your bitter ilk,

A kin to state the present and never to us,

no point in crying over a little spilt milk.

Author's Note

Honesty! x

Reviews

[Maya Storm]

Honesty! Can you handle it? :)

The first three sections outstanding... the last paragraph left me a bit mad for the lack of a better word. You did not complete this piece the way it needed to be.

"Piece by piece and kiss by kiss you take,
a child and turn him to man no longer alone,..."
That right there is strength in words, and it matched what was above...
"sweet gold I've longed for since times of fun,
A time I lay dead with overpowering tasks,"

I found that you needed an ending and you just rushed it. This is not at all the take away from you main thoughts I liked this piece just fine.

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

I can always handle honesty, it's a recurring theme in my works. I do understand what your saying though, the poem can read as if the ending was an after thought to something defined. However, it was purposful, it negated the reason of the piece, that anything regardless of impact can be handled, even the mundane and the absolute.

[Priyanka Natesh]

"Piece by piece and kiss by kiss you take,

a child and turn him to man no longer alone,

For he needs nothing but your hand in his,

you seated him against odds and ends throne"

These lines made the most impact on me. It's such a heart rending piece... I loved it.
Thank you!

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

Thank you x

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i was dead and you made me alive...i like the idea..also agree the last stanza doesn't quite measure up to the other three...

but slightly changed it could easily be there.


i really like the theme i saw here...

jacob

[Dalia]

neat style of writing, thoughts arranged and nice picture drawn
well- penned

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

thank you

[Valentine]

Leading the broken to Heaven's locked gate..nice line..I enjoyed this one..God bless..valentine

[Jvl narasimharao]

Your last line of the poem sums it up all.Your choice of words is wonderful

[Eloha]

Yes indeed, Thomas! I would very much like to offer you the hopeful entry of new poems of yours into new contests of mine, we'll have a ball, and it will be merry and I can't see us doing this, without you!

Your writing does have such a shine!~

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

Well my darling, I'll enter if you send me the links! lol x

[Eloha]

I have to go to my profile page to fetch it.

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

It's o.k. I found it all by myself!

[Eloha]

oh you beat me to it! Nicely done.

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

I try my best x

[L. Edward Neale]

Whats an ilk? Is it a cross between an elk and an Interlope. Interesting ye olde wordage. Cool poem. Starts perhaps a little better than it finishes though.

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

In modern use, ilk is used in phrases such as of his ilk, of that ilk, to mean ‘type’ or ‘sort.’

[L. Edward Neale]

I know champ just trying to be funny. For some reason the word ilk sounds like something Dr Suess would use to rhyme with milk. Sorry my childish brain can't unnassociate.

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

Cheeky! x

[L. Edward Neale]

Sometimes you gotta turn the other cheek. Somtimes you got earn that other cheek! He he. Peace brother.

[Jvl narasimharao]

This is so wonderful that I must read it again to understand it welll

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

Thank you x

[Lily Mae]

As I read along it gains momentum and gets stronger and stronger.. I like that.. it moved me and the metaphors perfect.. xx