Wit.

An experiment!

Sparkling wit does stir hatred in this viral mind,

A plucking hand is swift to move upon mine,

Great forces never stand a chance to move him,

Sly grins have found a way to settle in line.

 

Making noises like fantastic farm animals,

I yeild only to pleasure myself only tender,

A wip has use for those that bend to will,

Beauty in paint for masters to come and render.

 

Make haste, make love, make blood to see,

Our hands rest south of tickle lines again,

Casual and meaningless is forever my friend,

To scream and yell and through my out, when?

 

Wispy curls I hate when scrathing upon skins,

Feelings are useless when aired and heal,

Greenery, tankless and glass display your heat,

I must get to you, for only me to feel.

Author's Note

Honesty always!

Reviews

[An owl on the moon]

Your words pound through the poetic rhythm and drive in sharply stark messages of life, and the mind at work within. Powerful and evocative.

[Jasmine]

this is quite something. you deliver your words sharply and originally. I don't fully understand it yet. I will have to keep re-reading.

[Chloe..Across the Unive..]

Very unique...I honestly like it, very entertaining.

Chloe

[Neva Flores Smith - Cha..]

beautiful and oh so different!

[Brandon S. Whitten]

Love to read what you eloquently write. Irish eyes are smiling.

[Chris Yip]

Deep and pushes the reader to wonder, is there more to it than just wit. well penned with good rhyming.

[Jordan's Back]

I agree with Hayley, This is not the best piece i have seen to date, but it shows allot of potential. Keep up the good work, you will find the niche to carve this into a masterpiece.,

[Hayley]

I have mixed feelings about this particular poem, though I love you are experimenting! The first stanza was the best in my mind. The rest could be tweaked a little, mostly because I think some of the rhymes are a bit forced. The last line, "I must get to you, for only me to feel." is genius!
Keep them coming; I always love to read you!

[Valentine]

Not the best wording or rhythm as some of yours I have read..You can do much better and we both know it sweetie..Kathie

[asdarkeyesclose]

sometimes when we experiment we find new horizons and unexpected definitions. it is only when we stretch our wings slightly and challenge ourselves that we develop as writers. great to see you pushing those boundaries! fantastic.