The Vampire

A subject that is indeed very close to my heart, as a fan of all things Vampire, I like to write on the context of the fantasy.

Those eyes fake lust in prey so hopeless,

A mere glance puts thoughts in his ear,

He yearns for the touch of warm skin,

Blood pulses in vessels so close to fear.

 

 

Less talk summing questions in those fortunate,

The gift of immortality for all come time,

Splendid flashes of ivory surrounded in lips,

Posted worries eradicated, a man in his prime.

 

 

Cold hands encase arms of his first youth,

Two bodies pushed together in quickened force,

Dark circles plunge deep in faces no smiles,

The pounding heart beat is just par for the course.

 

 

Groins stiffen as teeth collapse neck veins,

Tighter holds envelop his weakened soul,

No fight to be made against the strong,

His life draining forth from man to foe.

 

 

Licking fingers clean of sweet pink food,

Dead bodies lay quiet at feet and spire,

Handsome boys never chance against him,

This beautiful and evil pale vampire.

Author's Note

As I always say, be honest and enjoy!

Reviews

[quinfinn]

i admire your honesty and openness to express the sexual aspect of this, as it is scarcely ever examined in the books of lore and especially not in today"s novels . it is merely inferred and largely left out. however, you describe the experience with an obvious relish which makes the write even more delicious to read. the whole vampire thing is an obvious turn on for you, n'est pas? very nicely penned!

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

I wouls say that it is, I've always had the fantasy of the victim.

[VennelaMargame]

Oddly enough, the later stanzas remind me of a novel I read years ago called "Tap Tap" about a guy who becomes a vampire serial killer to try and get rid of all his best friend's enemies. It was a weird book, but entertaining.

Now what I liked about it was the sexualization of the act of vampirism, but, my friend, you mustn't be afraid to go a little over the top in matters such as these. This is the time to enjoy what you're doing as much as the vampire enjoys what he is doing, eh?

I think that you could expand on the climactic (heh heh) stanzas a little bit, talk about what the vampire feels emotionally and physically in depth as the meal pours out of his victim.

As always, be on guard for cliche, like "splendid flashes of ivory" or "pounding heart beat." Just because those feel like very familiar descriptions of teeth or fear/excitement. Have fun with it a come up with some new tropes.

Best wishes, friend.

[Elizabeth Porterfield]

I very much like this:) I really do:) I love how you've painted the vampire, unconquerable and uncaring:) Beautiful!

[Megara]

interesting

[Dalia]

I can tell why you enjoy writing about a vampire, its an interesting theme indeed, I enjoyed it.

[R J Askew]

I feel a bit like the victim here. Am waiting to know if my company is going to let me go. Or whether it wants to suck more blood out of me first! May hear later tdy.

[Dayran]

Certainly an acquired taste ... rare ...

[John Alexander McFadyen]

It feels scary in terms of how the vampire feels detached and devoid of all except his desire for someone else's blood and soul.

[Be myself!]

This is really cool

[Laura Maidah]

Licking fingers clean of sweet pink food,
Dead bodies lay quiet at feet and spire,
Handsome boys never chance against him,
This beautiful and evil pale vampire.

My favorite stanza. It really makes the poem for me.