Life

A demented stab at irony.

To you I give me last entrails,

Bring me back I have to sail,

All I'll give is one sacrifice,

Plead with me I have your life.

Take me back to the light,

Darkness has filled the air with plight,

I'll give you my soul, you'll never keep,

I'll take you away forever to seek,

For just one moment we will die,

But rise again and have to lie.

Author's Note

It's a style I generally don't use, but I felt I had to try it, be ruthless or kind, all comments welcome.

Reviews

[E.Gleaves]

after reading a few times I picked up on the fact every line is contradictory to what the line before it said. There's a lot of irony here. "All I'll give is one sacrifice,
Plead with me I have your life" That had to be the most ironic line in the poem

[Sujash I. Purna]

this is terrific! I'm quite unfamiliar with this kind of structure. But you dealt with your emotions quite well in this!

[LA Lorena]

Personally, I loved it, but then again, I may be slightly biased in that I'm a lover of rhythm and rhyme. Yours was just like silk in it's flow, tightly versed and beautifully dripping off the tongue. I think you should try using it more often, for you do it well!

[RidingTheWind]

You've put across the general feeling of the poem very well, I really like this poem

[Marshall Hanson]

I liked it. It flowed very well, I also liked the visual and feeling the poem gave. Great work.