powerful lines ..no doubt ..your strong feelings come across loud and clear ... your comment about rape and your poem together throw me a little ..seems your poem is more metaphor on certain ills of society .. your last two verses seem particularly expressive of your angst ...second line second verse .. i think i would end it after ".....dominance ..." when you add "men" in there it takes away from the horror of rapists whether they are literal or those in power that rape in a more subtle way ... i love this line:
"Scratch's bind broken nails in mere defeat." ..one fights and is helpless with the only weapons at hand ..fingernails .. becoming a testimony to the helplessness ... i think that is such a fine line ..and i like the word play using ol' Scratch very appropriately ..
E.
Posted 8 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
8 Years Ago
Thank you EN, the literal does creep in with this piece I'm afraid however plays it's part well, tha.. read moreThank you EN, the literal does creep in with this piece I'm afraid however plays it's part well, thank you.
If I were to pinpoint everything I like about this I would be here all day. It was a good topic, bold to say the least. You did very well, and went out with a bang. Perfect title that hits you in the face. I can think of nothing anyone could possibly find wrong with this piece of inspiring poetry.
Yes. My heart goes out to anyone who has ever been a victim of rape. 'Society's W***e' was a great title for this, and it fits very well in the last line. Well done.
-William Liston
Posted 8 Years Ago
8 Years Ago
Thank you William, I look forward to reading more of your work.
powerful lines ..no doubt ..your strong feelings come across loud and clear ... your comment about rape and your poem together throw me a little ..seems your poem is more metaphor on certain ills of society .. your last two verses seem particularly expressive of your angst ...second line second verse .. i think i would end it after ".....dominance ..." when you add "men" in there it takes away from the horror of rapists whether they are literal or those in power that rape in a more subtle way ... i love this line:
"Scratch's bind broken nails in mere defeat." ..one fights and is helpless with the only weapons at hand ..fingernails .. becoming a testimony to the helplessness ... i think that is such a fine line ..and i like the word play using ol' Scratch very appropriately ..
E.
Posted 8 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
8 Years Ago
Thank you EN, the literal does creep in with this piece I'm afraid however plays it's part well, tha.. read moreThank you EN, the literal does creep in with this piece I'm afraid however plays it's part well, thank you.
Here in Michigan. Rape victims get abuse by the police department. Like they were the victim.
"Fallen pillars of the community exposed to all,
Make no mistake they beat and cut us to out core,
As they lay sunken in coffins lined with led,
Tell yourself this, you're no longer society's w***e."
The above lines. Strong and honest. This poetry need to be read by more people. Thank you my friend for sharing your amazing poetry.
Coyote
a strong and heavy voice for a strong subject. I am not sure if sooth is an intended play on words as well as led, as both could be, other than that your should be you're. Your powerful, defiant tone empowers, which I believe the intention to be. Standing for victims. Men is too nice a descriptor for rapists. They are a different species.
Indeed, a play on word's for sure, thank you for the edit, it's taken me quite a while to write this.. read moreIndeed, a play on word's for sure, thank you for the edit, it's taken me quite a while to write this piece, so perfection is needed, thank you my darling.
8 Years Ago
It is a wonderful piece I can appreciate, having been in a couple relationships where what was mine .. read moreIt is a wonderful piece I can appreciate, having been in a couple relationships where what was mine was taken from me without permission.
8 Years Ago
There certainly are times when one can speak out without fear of retaliation, in hope anyway, thank .. read moreThere certainly are times when one can speak out without fear of retaliation, in hope anyway, thank you KL.
To all who know by now - I love you.
For those that don't, I review a lot of work on here, and I expect the same in return, friend me but make sure to have conviction! I'm a horror writer mostly bu.. more..