Now.

A simple look at sickness.

Bleak colour fading,

Pupils guided away no soul,

Now we dead.

Author's Note

I'm just back from a spell of sickness, so be honest!

Reviews

[Renée]

And that is why we need friends and family to bring us Chicken soup ! On a serious note ..this sounds like a very bad sickness to the point of lingering near death, or death..because to have no soul..is to lose the driver of the vessel.. Glad to see you pulled though !

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

Indeed and thank you.x

[Renée]

It was my pleasure to read your work

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Just read this again dear Thomas, I could visualise the eyes having seen this many times in my profession. The final line perhaps 'now we're dead' or 'now we die' or 'now I die'?

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

I have toyed with changing it John to like you suggest, "now we're dead" however, I think the blatant misuse of common English gives it more annoyance.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

I neglected to factor in our in-bred hate of all things English. A Bruce, a Bruce!

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

HA! I do enjoy you immensely John.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

You wish you bad boy!

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

Oh Mr. McFadyen you have no idea the seductive powers I have to hand x

[00000000000000000000000..]

This is deep before my eyes because I gather the feeling of sickness. I seen moments it felt like prison. Its never easy but good and bad come in the mist. To be a short write it says a lot Thomas:)

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

Thank you my darling, I strive to make meaning complex and relatable as possible.

[0000000000000000000000000000]

I see that Thomas well done:)

[Lydia Shutter]

Yes, the wan skin tone, the eyes that seem to stare into the distance without seeing....as if the soul has died. You have described this well. Lydi**

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

Thank you Lydi**

[Lyn Anderson]

I like it. Short, to the point, says a lot inside a little. Nicely done.

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

Thank you x

[SkinlessFrank]

that pretty much sums it up

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

Thank you x

[Friday]

The way I read it it has layers and that makes commenting tricky so I add it up by writing that it's very well penned (which seems to be normal for the writer in question :)).

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

Thank you x

[John Alexander McFadyen]

This piece was abrupt. Just like death. Well penned.

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

Thank you x

[SyberRose]

Im sorry you were sick Thomas...but i'm glad you are not dead...Is that honest enough for you ha...hugs
An eerie poem for sure...I don't even want to think about it...Rose

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

lol, thanks Rose! x