Bold!

A challenge of sorts to write with words given by the creative poetry group - enjoy!

Scathing order never hoped to reach my ear,

Gathering times and heat have torn my mind,

People pass and go and leave never seen,

Preach at those that stay a moment in kind.

 

Bless me father for I have sinned he says,

Bold and a near perfect elocution speak,

Fearless as ever standing there in front of crowds,

Bearded man and woman forever seek.

 

A finger pointing and grating against me,

The rasp we call it to erode a delicate fan,

Take all I have money, life and feelings,

Dear reader remember you open can.

 

Contorted bodies lay strewn in fields of green,

A boy once affable now sends daggers your way,

Blinded like dogs in streets of Africa south,

We hide and pray and do it again one day.

Author's Note

Honesty!

Reviews

[John Alexander McFadyen]

A question first. I sort of felt this had religious overtones of the parish priest delivering his sermon but around him despite fear of offending the church people went their own often sordid ways. Am I way off? The reason I ask is I loved some lines immensely but others I felt could be improved. Loved the 'texture' of the piece. Our poetry group has started setting challenges and it can be a challenge but fun at the same time.

[Valentine]

Well, you have created a poem..some I grasp..other lines no..but all have sinned and telling a priest and just going out and doing it again..seems to be the thing..Valentine

[Jazique]

Wow, honesty is the best policy. And well in no matter what topic there is always this small religious line but, yours definitely has a religious overtone. I like the poem though I mean the some of the lines are really some thing and you can really the biblical references. Anyways well done, your poems are always something different and needed to be read again which is why I like them.

[John Patrick Robbins AK..]

Honestly ive never been able to do these word challenges idk if its cause i just dont have the talent or its just not my thing .
yet you seemed to have penned this with ease as ive seen others try the same style and come out kinda hurky jerky

anyways its a strong poem but you are a very skilled poet so its not a suprize.
A good write altogather .
Cheers Gonzo

[Poetic Beauty]

Religion is not always spiritual and can be corrupt. This hints as some of the wrong doings in subtle sort of way. You have use the words is a creative fashion.

[Ruth]

Forgiveness is something that allows us to "do it again one day" but then we run into the whether or not it is was indeed first a sin...a huge ball game humans are part of, always good to read you darling xoxo

[Megara]

very bold,(thus the title) you can feel the strong feelings that went into this!
nice job:)

[Frieda P]

Not sure if this is directly aimed at you or about your poetry, either way, it's scathing and a decadent read....wickedly delicious!

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

Thank you!

[KeelyJane]

I like the way you formatted the words in this. It really flows quite nicely. Good read my friend. :)

[Dayran]

On a bad day I have to deal with my barber for thinking he knows my fashion style better than me. But its appears sonny that you may have your work cut out for you. Trading barbs with the resident of heaven, trying to tell him you have to fight him but to still labor over your eternal love for him is not a normal bad day.

Still, I think the old boy sits by the window and listens. I figure he thinks you're going to hurt yourself one of these days. But the scars will heal in time ... and the fox still looks into his eyes with the love of play.

[Coyote Poetry]

I like the poem a lot. So many statements were strong and create good visions. I like the way you led the reader to the strong ending.
"Blinded like dogs in streets of Africa south,
We hide and pray and do it again one day."
Thank you my friend for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote