The Prayer.

Just a look at prayer and how we say them

Help us all dear Father so,

As we kneel down in your warming glow,

Bless the people with loving showers,

A heighted feat of your awesome powers.

 

Our Mother held in hearts of many,

Never looking for as much as a penny,

Guided hand that leads her children true,

We bask and come forth washed anew.

 

A son came and looked on in awe,

To see a people stripped bare and raw,

Sins they had and sins they had dealt,

His sacrifice we witnessed and more so felt.

 

The all telling spirit that binds man to God,

A dove has flown across skies and we nod,

Salute of kinds the only hope we need,

As they have been there in our very creed.

 

Author's Note

Honesty.

Reviews

[VennelaMargame]

The sentiment is very warm and lovely, and I'm glad to see the rhymed couples in rough iambic tetrameter. Not many people have an appreciation for form anymore, and I feel that more ought to try it.

My one concern is that the language could be a little fresher. Things like "people stripped bare and raw" and "never looking for so much as a penny" are rather cliche and old-fashioned. Try playing with metaphor and figurative language a bit and see where your imagination goes would be my recommendation.

Happy writing, friend.

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

thank you, I'll take it into consideration.

[quinfinn]

i am pagan ...and reject all things christian...but, i know excellent verse when i see and read it. your rhyme is symphonic to a tee and the meter is practically perfect. i was a bit taken aback by your embrace of the subject matter as it didnt seem to be your person (at least my understanding, previously, of your person) but i applaud your expansion and open minded attachment to things as they seem to be. i, therefore, will embrace your reality and continue to love you for who you are, as before. well done!

[Morrigan Nicole]

I am by far no christian, but that does not make me a prejudice person and being thus, I found that even a non-god believing girl like very much enjoyed this masterpiece. This poem is so heartfelt and, in ways, a truth. A different kind of truth, i could say. And yes, the world is a dangerous place to live; not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it.

[oceanatears]

Beautifully written, nice flow, and sentimental

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

thank you

[Lily Mae]

A heart of gold bleeding love, faith and hope to paper...Excellent write Thomas.. xo

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

thank you

[C.C. Marx]

The rhyme pattern is clear and clean, the poem overall is great, from the message to the details

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

Thank you!

[C.C. Marx]

My pleasure of course

[Michael Kevin Spencer]

Hey I missed you, I'm glad you are back! Still write like pope I see. Very nice.

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

Ah Michael it's good to hear from you, and thank you!

[Jazique]

Oh that was just awesome dude, now i just want to brag about the poem and i dont even know you. But anyways awesome flow, i love the message it send, and overall just wonderful touch a Christains heart. well done.

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

I'm glad you enjoyed it, after years of writing torrid horror and sexually charged pieces, it's good every once and a while to look honestly into ones heart and write what we see.

[Zachary_James]

Oh i love this so very much, this is outstanding work ftom you. Great piece of art, thank you for sharing.

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

your welcome and thank you.