The Prayer.

Just a look at prayer and how we say them

Help us all dear Father so,

As we kneel down in your warming glow,

Bless the people with loving showers,

A heighted feat of your awesome powers.

 

Our Mother held in hearts of many,

Never looking for as much as a penny,

Guided hand that leads her children true,

We bask and come forth washed anew.

 

A son came and looked on in awe,

To see a people stripped bare and raw,

Sins they had and sins they had dealt,

His sacrifice we witnessed and more so felt.

 

The all telling spirit that binds man to God,

A dove has flown across skies and we nod,

Salute of kinds the only hope we need,

As they have been there in our very creed.

 

Author's Note

Honesty.

Reviews

[VennelaMargame]

The sentiment is very warm and lovely, and I'm glad to see the rhymed couples in rough iambic tetrameter. Not many people have an appreciation for form anymore, and I feel that more ought to try it.

My one concern is that the language could be a little fresher. Things like "people stripped bare and raw" and "never looking for so much as a penny" are rather cliche and old-fashioned. Try playing with metaphor and figurative language a bit and see where your imagination goes would be my recommendation.

Happy writing, friend.

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

thank you, I'll take it into consideration.

[Sami Khalil]

Your faith sjines through in this spiritual write. I think you are on a journey of inner discovery...Splerndid...:)

[.]

Spiritual and loving. loved it xx

[Eve Marie]

wow...
thats all I can say...

[icelandicblue]

Beautiful poem of the connectedness we all share to something bigger. I thought that the rhyme worked quite well in driving the mood of the piece.

[Greg J muscroft Poet]

Tender and engaging enjoyed it :-)

[SyberRose]

Lovely and very moving words...Thank you for posting this heart warming poem.
~SyberRose

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

Thank you!

[5minutesofcrazy]

From what I've read from you in the past, this seems simplistic. Your rhyme is solid, if bland. The structure again, solid. You are very good at creating striking images with your metaphors, which isn't here.

[Elizabeth Porterfield]

I love this!!!!!!! The religous aspect of it is beautiful and very heartwarming:) Although I do have to ask, did you mean to say "heighted" or 'heightened?" Anyway, another amazing piece:) Great work:)

[KATHY SUE SILLS]

One of my favorites! The warmth of the words can give all hope in prayer!