Needles.

A look at the treatments we put our bodies through!

Slack little scars tell tales ought not to be told,

Eyes slit to the need of seeing men through the cold,

Fragile minds kept ignorant of present exclusion,

My stomach leaves pangs of several repulsions.

 

With a needle sharp with speed yet steady,

Takes time for blood to gather and ready,

Bleak moments of gowns hooked up to spire,

Wrinkled women have lost the will for desire.

 

Natural thoughts are stranded on shores of malice,

Every looking for the mythical and sparkling chalice,

A cup of twenty the cards are every true and fair,

Feeble minds stare blank and hopeless with care.

 

Take heed of pure gibberish written perfectly in books,

Never knowing why they stand tall with faint looks,

Break bones if needs be and they will with decree,

Make note my dear sweet friends, you’ll never be free.

Author's Note

Honesty!

Reviews

[L. Edward Neale]

Great one. I get that this is about drugs but it could be a metaphor for other things too. Like the needle as piercing judgdment speed as the swiftness of that judgement. Theres layers in this one. Indeed, what lies in the layers beyond where the needle cannot penetrate? The layer that is able to view the demonic hunger from the outside and lament its depredations. The narrative soul perhaps?

[T. Michele Smock]

I LIKE IT

[Priscilla Sayers]

A honest piece that is purely full of what lies beneath the soul of an addict. zNever free of what may drive the needle to the arm. The warm flow of the drug that brings rest. Unfortunate to be addicted to such a drug.... Great write. Thank you for the experience my friend.

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

Thank you!

[Andrea Vargas]

Im speechless!

[Chris Smith Welshpoetcs]

Good to read you again my friend

[lei]

like Dean said, the last stanza said it all!

[Lily Mae]

This is raw and honest.. brilliantly said..xo and by the end taken straight to the core lol..x and ah ha moment..x

[.....]

Interesting, I kind of didn't get the point of this. The context was a bit confusing for me. But I liked your alliteration in this, your structure was formatted well. In two instances you use every when you mean ever. Good rhyme scheme as well that is well developed and has a good rhythm.

Blessings, Tammy

[EMF]

This is so beautifully dark that it hypnotimes and holds you from first till last. It cuts to the quick of ideas and forces the reader to think. No softly spoken fluffy bunny stuff here. Just raw and challanging. Loved every drop from the hypo. Superb work

[Elizabeth Porterfield]

I love this!! It's so amazing, there is nothing more I can say.