Chapter 3

I simply went into the room and grabbed the half-empty bottle and continued my work to finishing it off.

The night progressed very slowly...I did what was normal to me. I drank like a madman to drown the pain in my heart. All I could think about was Daniel, and Hunter. Why they had left me alone at the same time would forever elude me...But, I wouldn’t search anymore for it, because my life had begun suddenly, and ended just as swiftly. The fact that my beginning was so sudden did nothing to bother me.. Its cessation did though. I loved very few things in this world: Hunter, Daniel, Ashley, and now Alex. But I lost two of them, in one day. So this drink would comfort me where no one else could. They let me drink now. After my promise to Hunter, Daniel’s death rocked my entire perspective, and I just wanted to know why he did that unspeakable horror. Just as I had promised to live, another piece of my life was ripped away from me. I wondered what justification he would give. Would he justify it at all? So I sat there, and drank. It seemed normal, even if I hadn’t been drinking before this, I would now. The Cabernet went out first. Toast after toast I had with myself to various things and people. “To life’s tragedies!” I called out as the last swig of wine went down. I could feel my senses fading, and I could tell things were going downhill. I didn't care one bit anymore. I began to sing the song I had sang when I had been in the bar the last time, “Scars”.

The song came to a halt at the end. My voice once again retained its original sound. I wished that this accursed gift would leave. But I knew that it would not do so, for it was my own. I had sang for very few people, and those people were all respective of my apprehension. But now I had to give out something to let people know what it felt like. So I called Ashley again, and told her one thing. “I’m going to sing tonight. I only wanted to tell you where I’m going to be, so you don’t have a fit if I’m not home.” I said slowly.

She paused, “Where are you doing this at? I want to be there to support you, and make sure that nothing starts trouble.” She said in return.

It dumbfounded me, but I said “Whiskey Garden.” She sighed into the phone.

“Give me ten minutes to get dressed, and I will be there.”

I said okay, then went back to my home-away-from-home. I entered the bar, and went to the bar. “Welcome back. Haven’t seen you in a while.” The bartender said. I nodded and apologized, but looked fondly at the stage. “Should I dim the lights, because you look as if you want to be up there again? I would be honored to do that.” He said genuinely. I nodded and suddenly, the lights in the bar dropped so that you could barely see in front of you. I felt odd, returning to my passion without him there to be with me.

        My eyes spotted Ashley before my song began. I sang my favorite one, “Scars”, the one I had sang in the house. My eyes drifted from person to person in the place, and almost everyone was impacted in some way. Some were crying, some were just staring. But I closed my eyes and poured my heart into the lyrics, knowing I had begun to cry. But I continued. I had wanted to sing for a long time, since I was a teenager, when I had first began to sing. It felt right to be here, pouring my soul into music and to let my voice carry all emotions, both of my own and that of others. Ashley smiled at me the entire time the crowd cheered. I finished the song and left the stage to go back to the bar. Ashley beat me there by the time I arrived. “That was amazing. He would be proud” she said tearfully, though smiling all the time. I hoped he would, because this was a discussion we had already discussed. He would always smile and tell me that nothing would make him happier than for me to finally take to the stage and sing.  Sadly, I was committing to this after he was gone. But I knew that he would be happy, regardless.

     The bartender smiled at me as I finally broke off from everyone else. “Just the same as the first time.” He said as I walked to him with a smile. For the first time, I took in his features. He had eyes that resemblance of a faded blue gem. His hair was a brown color, it reminded me of honey. But what astounding was his frame. It was that of one who worked out in the gym, not one who dealt in the sorrows of others in a bar. “I never caught your name?” I told him as I sat down in front of him. He smiled  for an instant, and easily responded “Samuel. My name is Samuel.” I memorized the name quickly, then remembered the funeral tomorrow.  “I’ve got to go. I’ll come back tomorrow night” I told him as I left, followed by Ashley twenty minutes later.