Chapter 1

I could barely stand to look at him. Even though I had missed him dearly, I didn't want to remember him like this. He was sickly pale, almost white. And next to skeletal. "Hey" he rasped.  As he spoke to me, I allowed myself to cry. My tears began to flow down my face in torrents. I could feel his grasp on my skin, and I remembered that same grasp around me at night. I opened my eyes and looked into what was once a deep sea of cobalt but now was just a gritty iron color. "Caleb, stop" he commanded. My sobs slowly subsided, allowing me to speak. "Why didn't you tell me?" I asked softly. There was a long pause before he answered. "Because it was worth the weight in gold not to say anything. For you to live without your life revolving around me." His eyes appeared distant, as if remembering something. But his answer wasn't enough.

“What if that doesn't make me happy? What then?" I pleaded. He simply closed his eyes and spoke words that were filled with so much sorrow.

"Then you will be angry for a time. But I want you to know that I did this for you." My anger evaporated and I crawled into the empty place on his bed, taking him into my arms. I knew that at any moment, he would go to sleep and never wake up again. I took a deep breath in and released it, taking in the familiar scent of his chestnut  hair. I could feel his body begin to quiver as he cried, and so I brought him closer to me. "I- I thought I had made peace with it all, but apparently not." He choked out.

I leaned in and whispered, "You are your own person, but I know that you have been at peace for a long time." He looked up at me and smiled.

"I feel tired now." He said in next to a whisper. My eyes began to blur again. The moment of my life I couldn't even have fathomed, and here it was. It was his time. "Please sing to me again, like before." He said softly. I forced myself to think of something, anything. And slowly I began to let the heartfelt lyrics come out.

I let my voice fade off as I finished the song. He smiled at me and for a few brief minutes, his angelic voice returned. "Promise me to live. And that you know that I love you." He said with hope. I couldn't say no to that kind of request.

"Of course, Hunter, I promise." I said. He smiled as I said that and took the easiest breath he had ever taken, and exhaled. His eyes drifted shut and soon after, he was gone completely. I sat there with him in my arms, crying. Steadily wishing time would turn back and give him back to me. “"I love you too."” I whispered in his ear.

The sad task was mine to call Ashley. I slowly forced myself to dial the numbers and listen to the urgent tone that signaled she hadn't picked up yet. If only this were as urgent as that sound, for I am in no hurry to tell I thought. Soon after this passed my mind, I heard the one voice I didn't want to face right at that moment..

“Caleb, please tell us where you are! We haven't seen you in a month!" She yelled, her voice full of worry.

"I- I am with Hunter, or I was." I said as my voice cracked with tears.

"No…NO!" She yelled. That single yell was heart-wrenching. It was as if all the world's sorrows were in it. "W-when did it happen?" She mumbled.

“Not but three minutes ago." I responded.

"I am so sorry Caleb." Ashley said suddenly. It astounded me that she was consoling me when her brother had just died. "I want to be there, so when are we going to get the funeral done?" She asked. I responded that I hadn't a clue, so she said that she wanted to begin the next day. "Thank you for calling, Caleb, I'm sorry that this happened." She said as she hung the phone up.

I lied in the bed, completely oblivious to anything, numb in fact. The only thing I could think of was Hunter, before. Before the split, before the sickness. And as sleep took hold of my body, I thought about before "we" began.

           The music was deafening. Almost to the point of aggravation. Why I had come to this party I did not know. But all I wore was a Phantom of the Opera mask. I simply walked around and tried to avoid other people. But someone caught my eye. He wore a black wolf mask, his brown chestnut hair fell about his shoulders. This intrigued me, and I could only stare at the figure. Chestnut hair about his shoulders, and a frame that rivaled most famous men. But my admiration could not last long, however, as he turned around and saw me. He walked over and then started the conversation that began everything. "You need to work on your staring skills, they aren't very good." He said. I blushed and said weakly "Have you looked in the mirror? You need to have someone stare at you." He smiled then whispered.

“Then I'm glad it's you doing it."

I woke with a start, with tears rolling down my face. How fondly I had remembered that to be, now was the source of my sorrow. I just couldn't stand being in that house anymore, so I left. I walked into the nearest bar and just sat there.  I could barely think in here, and that was a good thing now. I motioned for the bartender and ordered a very stout liquor. I had been in this place before, and he knew it. He gave me what he had given me then too, and a sympathetic glance. But I didn't care at this point, I just wanted to feel nothing, not happiness, not anger, and surely not sadness. As he brought the drink to me, I wondered at the stage in the front of the place. "People sing up there when they feel like it" the bartender said as he noticed my marveling.

I spent about six hours there, drinking until they wouldn't let me drink anymore. And so I left, back to the house where everything had fallen apart. I had decided to just stay there, from now on as a reminder. It was a terrible idea for me to just leave, after all, my life had truly started here. Thus, I decided that it would end here as well, eventually though. I went through the house, slowly reminiscing the memories I still had in some of the house's areas. The living room, in which we came in on that first night. And the hallway, in which we had that first kiss. Now, though, the bedroom had a negative connotation to it. It was hard to stay in, so I went to what was before the guest room and before that, my room. I walked to the dresser, and opened the bottom drawer. Inside was a full bottle of whiskey, and next to it, a full bottle of 1957 Cabernet. I grabbed both and two glasses.