Good Morning?

a monologue... imagine a soft voice saying these words

Hey, lover boy

Open your eyes and it's a new dawn

You're getting used to being awake;

loving the crowing c**k

Then you perceive your favourite scent;

A pleasant odour

Follow the trail then you find its source

Sleeping peacefully like the sleeping beauty beside you is your angel

Your most favourite face

Reach out...feel her skin so smooth

Those lashes, that sleep induced smile, the rising sun

Bask in her beauty

Remember last night ?

ha!... She's your angel

Her loving heart, your light

Her animal drive, your pride

A package of perfection, and she's all yours

Come on

Lean over

Brush the hair off her face

Plant a loving kiss on her forehead

Wake her up

Today has to start, right?

What's wrong?

Why do you look so shocked?

What?!!

She's cold and stiff?

let me-

Christ!!

Author's Note

Just trying to be dramatic

Reviews

[.....]

That was a disturbing twist. The poem lacked a rhythm for me. I don't know if it was down to word choice or just word order, but it just was lacking, and then the twist at the end, was more to the macabre than the dramatic. But having said that, it's a good idea, just needs to be flushed out some more.

I encourage you to keep writing to read and comment.

Blessings, Tammy

[Siena - Silent Awakenin..]

Oh my, what a turn for the worst! But i think the last stanza is the most significant as it really shows how strong you can be in your writing. Loved it! - Siena

[AK]

Wow! Nice poem! I like the melodrama:) keep writing!

[Jyango Ryudo]

just beautiful, i loved the surprise ending! so dramtic i love it lol. great job buddy lots of love! :)

[Wendy Seames Garner]

I thought this was a wonderful little poem of love, until the last stanza. What a surprise!

[Marie]

It really was dramatic. I expected anything but what you did at the end. Very good.

[justjenn_2u]

Wow, what a surprising ending. I know a quote that fits this perfectly. : ) Good write.

[TheReal]

I loved this. Then she was dead.

[Coyote Poetry]

Morning is always a bad time for woman and men. Too tire to think or talk. Old wife won't talk till 12 noon. I like the story and the good ending. Thank you for the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Poppie Mira]

i was relexing reading from the first line untill i became "cold and stiff" in the last 3 stanzas,
good structure.