Good Morning?

a monologue... imagine a soft voice saying these words

Hey, lover boy

Open your eyes and it's a new dawn

You're getting used to being awake;

loving the crowing c**k

Then you perceive your favourite scent;

A pleasant odour

Follow the trail then you find its source

Sleeping peacefully like the sleeping beauty beside you is your angel

Your most favourite face

Reach out...feel her skin so smooth

Those lashes, that sleep induced smile, the rising sun

Bask in her beauty

Remember last night ?

ha!... She's your angel

Her loving heart, your light

Her animal drive, your pride

A package of perfection, and she's all yours

Come on

Lean over

Brush the hair off her face

Plant a loving kiss on her forehead

Wake her up

Today has to start, right?

What's wrong?

Why do you look so shocked?

What?!!

She's cold and stiff?

let me-

Christ!!

Author's Note

Just trying to be dramatic

Reviews

[.....]

That was a disturbing twist. The poem lacked a rhythm for me. I don't know if it was down to word choice or just word order, but it just was lacking, and then the twist at the end, was more to the macabre than the dramatic. But having said that, it's a good idea, just needs to be flushed out some more.

I encourage you to keep writing to read and comment.

Blessings, Tammy

[Crazy Cat Man]

yes that twist was unexpected. good job. wow u set it up good with a lovely beginiing then a tragic end :( good job :D

[Leslie Philibert]

Good write, I would work in more background to define the story a bit better, like the imagery.

[afra]

simply beautiful .......good job once again

[Baby Ricochet]

It was cute. I liked it

[Stabitha]

Now this really works.

The end is a shocker.

The relaxed and sexy tone of the build-up is very well crafted, I think you should repeat this tone in your future poetry.

[Pax]

unexpected twist in the ending, i like that. brilliant work

[koty bell]

whoa!!!

[Aehr]

different and unique, i like the drama

[Tomi]

I love it! Beautiful, Dark, Shocking and Brilliant!

[TL Boehm]

WOW! The ending was totally unexpected! Well done!