Another Morning At the Bar

A funny story set in rural nigeria

The early morning coolness gently massaged my outstretched legs like my desperate, feather fingered girlfriend, Adaeze, trying to trick me into marriage. Relaxed, I closed my eyes and drew in a greedy ration of the sweet smelling palm-wine flavoured air fooling around in the bar. Feeding my soul and saturating my lungs with the healthy palmwiney air, I held my breath. 

Coincidentally, Eye Adaba, a soulful early morning song from Asa's first album started playing softly in the radio right above my head. 

Ooh Perfect! 

I slowly exhaled with a low moan, smiling merrily as Asa's seductive voice catapulted me into a palm-wine flavoured jacuzzi with my lovely Adaeze... 

Adaeze, dressed in a skimpy bikini, was dancing erotically beside me. She leaned in to give me a kiss. But with a swift calculated movement, my love's sensuous lips opted for my neck instead, nibbling gently my neck with those 32 cherubic pearls she calls teeth. 

Hmmn... I was in heaven. Adaeze kissed her way up to my earlobe. After getting my ear pretty hot and wet, she whispered in a low flirty voice "I love you." 

Those words sent a zillion icy spiders gliding down my spines. I stumbled back "I love you too, baby and I'll always love you forever and day. Ada, u know I-" I was stopped by a lone finger quickly supported by two wet softness on my lips 

"shh... Pelumi, i know you love me," my queen breathed into my mouth. "I know, okay and i want you" 

"okay" dumb! I scolded myself inwardly, but all grudges I held against myself was forgotten for good when I felt hands trying to pull down my shorts under the water. 

Oh, my god! Yes! oh Yes! Yes!! This is really happening!! 

Once my shorts were down and my engorged manhood was freed, I heard Adaeze whine "Pelumi, will you marry me?" 

Heck! Wasn't I supposed to be the one proposing? 

But I've gone too far now to let some stupid ego stop me 

"YES!! Yes!!!" 

"Yes what?" she cooed as she wrapped her hands around my member "I want to hear you say it" 

That touch made me jump and I yelled "Yes! I will marry you!! Yes! Yes!!... Yes, Yes Yes!!" 

I kept on yelling until something hard, loud and painful hit me roughly on my cheek. I screamed aloud; the pain wasn't that great though, but it was directly opposite what I was expecting. 

Struggling to open my eyes (I didn't know that opening one's eyes could take so long), I wailed 

"Ada! What did I do now?" 

But instead of my sweet thing's voice, what came was the loud baritone of my boss, and there was enough anger to begin Armageddon in it. 

"Aargh!!! Pelumi!!! you are dead!" 

Another voice followed, but this one was slurred and greedy "Pelumi! See how much palm-wine you've wasted on a Monday morning!!" 

Those voices brought back my sight and there, I saw my boss, fuming, and desperately trying to break free from the grasp of his brother, Okereke. Behind them were five drunk-heads looking hungrily right through me. I looked around and saw that somehow six out of ten palm-wine kegs were lying dead and empty on the floor like dead soldiers in a battle field. 

Somehow, six kegs of palmie had been emptied on me. How it happened, I didn't know. Somehow, My boss freed himself and he was charging towards me like bull. And somehow, I definitely knew that I was a dead man.

Author's Note

This is just me trying to walk out of my comfort zone. it's also m first attempt at writing a story, so, please, be lenient...
The names are Nigerian

Reviews

[Trusting]

Ah,now lets start the morning at the bar

[Coyote Poetry]

The story had everything. Drinking, woman and conflict. Combine the three together and we get into great trouble. A very good ending to the excellent poem.
Coyote