Bye cruel love

A suicidal note

We had sunlight in the night,

Now I see full moon at dawn.

We had the fun of a life time,

Now all joy is gone.

You didn't tell me I was just an appetizer,

Should have told me I wasn't the real meal.

Maybe I'd have guarded my heart harder,

Maybe I wouldn't be standing on this bridge.

The river below me looks so calm

As peaceful as her face when she sleeps.

Love could be that thief that stole my heart,

But I'd be the assassin to take mine life!

This isn't poetry,

Its the last thing I wrote before I jumped

...and its the last thing i wrote before going to hell

Author's Note

please honest and constructive reviews

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

Remind me of a Dante's tale. Go to heaven then to hell. A outstanding poem again.

[reflectingus]

Powerfully descriptive metaphors, I like the linkages with nature, and sadness in those words make this very significantly understandable of those overwhelming emotions of lost love, and yet, questionable love. Love most certainly does hurt, sometimes the pain decides to take precedence over life, however if life is given a chance, a way is certainly found because if you move, the only direction to move is forward, and there's lot to look forward to. Nonetheless, great job, keep writing.

[Trusting]

Now I see a full moon at dawn.

That is very vivid. Nice write

[Who Cares]

Wow, that was freaking intense holy crap, my jaw literally dropped at the end. I was really suprised. This was crazy powerful. it really makes you think.

[Shy Girl]

Yikes!! I'm happy to see the past tense there at the bottom "I jumped" Little scared there...but that's good as far as your poem. I could feel you standing there contemplating jumping...the last thoughts are still of your "cruel love"..still thinking of her even till your last breath, in a manner of speaking. Emotional indeed...hopefully you are alright (if this was you that is) A few "i" that need captialization...but sometimes I wonder if the poet or writer isn't trying to say something with that...like they feel small in some way so they don't captialize it to begin with...lends its self to the thought of "I hate me and i'm invisible"... something to think about :)

[Hiddenfire]

I enjoyed it, intense and open it didn't hold back and you can read the writer's heart in the words. Only suggestion is with this line: "But I'd be the assassin to take mine life!" mine should be my.

[Davey Jones]

Such Velocity and intensity

[Divinity Sleeps in This]

You write with a crazy intensity that I find very invigorating really, praise to you.

[Lilmissfit]

Very creative poem, the wording is amzing, so descriptive and passionate. great write!

[Coyote Poetry]

Wow is my response to the amazing poetry. I like the directness and honest words in this poem.
"You didn't tell me I was just an appetizer,
Should have told me I wasn't the real meal."
The ending made the poem complete. Thank you for a excellent poem.
Coyote