CONVENIENTLY ABSENT

A teenager, who has at some stage told his family he is gay, now faces the probability that there is no way out for him and he will not find help.

You sit alone,

neglected,

in your study-room,

day after day

the well of tears drains away,

spirit of life

parched for lack of sustenance,

turned off

the sounds of harmony and rhythm,

space emptied of meaning.

They, once hearth and home,

drive you out

into barred solitude

under the same roof

on separate, adjacent lines,

no longer loved as yourself,

become scandalous

to the strangers in your midst,

today conveniently absent,

at work or school or church.

Now prepared

the means of exit with care,

nothing left to chance or change of mind,

letter lies open, clear - out on the desk,

they may read its explanation,

take note,

or pretend it never appeared at their home.

You rise from a seat,

irksomely comfortable,

with steel-eyed resolution possessed,

all to be done as planned,

gathering the journey’s materials,

leave a space,

to descend dim-lit stairs

into sudden, self-created vacuum.

You are a graceful angel

through to an empty garage,

the armed stool, waiting for you,

in the centre of a circle of fire,

to step into the breach and fall.