Chapter 2 - Mental Break Down

For a few weeks after that he was just mean to me. cursed me out every day and would say horrible things to me that are just very degrading. I was still young and could only take so much of that before I lost it. My self of steam was completely shot. instead of a birthday party or even just a happy birthday I get told my mother is rolling over in her grave because of how much a w***e iI am. A grown man verbaly asaulting a little girl like that on her birthday, what a POS. He grounded me, sitting in my room just looking at the walls with only my thoughts was to much. Deep in depression and didnt care about anything else in this world. At this point i thought about suicide long and hard. A few nights past, school , home sleep school home sleep, then friday came. Went to school, came home, then around 6 he called me into his room. He was nice to me and said sorry. told me to sit down and have a drink with him and he handed me a cup or rum. A whole cup of rum. So i sat there and drank it while he had his own cup. About 3/4 way done the cup he locked the door and told me to open the bottom dresser door. I did and it was a silk nightgown of my moms and all the accesories to go with it. before i even turned back to him i felt my heart drop. This wasnt a good situation and i knew it. I stood up and he was right behind me. After a power control speach like the animal he is my only choice was to go along with it. So i stood there and changed infront of him. yes that was humiliating in itself, and for the longest time i believed it was my fault for going along with it. ive shed that guilt, and have come to see in my older years that there was nothing i could have done to stop this. As i was ordered to walk to the mirror and put makeup on we both realized i couldnt walk in heels, I never had a pair and wasnt really the heel type of girl. When i was done he walked over and slapped me. I fell to the floor and att this point i started to check out.