Put myself on my life

May I not think about you for a while?
May i think about myself?

I mean i always think about you all the time
And now please give me a moment to appreciate myself

Because if i can't take care about myself
Who else will?


-Wantingtobelovedandloving

Reviews

[Davidgeo]

You need to edit this.

Not because it sucks but because it could be great.

[Glen Weimann]

Ciel Hi. I like the simplicity of this. It gets across a simple but very understandable plea for balance.

I not that you're from Indonesia, so may I take the liberty to make a couple of suggestions about your choice of wording?

- the first line would be more correct if it was 'may I not think about ...'
- because you've said 'who else will' (how true!!) in the 6th line, it makes more sense if the 5th line says 'because if I can't [or don't] take care...' to match the tense

Hope you don't mind these suggestions. But the message you spell out is all to clear and all too common. There are a lot of givers out there but also a lot of takers. Nice work!

[Ciel]

Hey Nigel!
First of all thank you very much of your kindness and input. I'm working on my English and sure will evaluate all of it.