New Paradise

If I could just restore, the paradise that I lived before.

As I see myself lying on the ground, 
I could feel the hurt from my open wound. 
Wondering if this new pain that I felt, 
Was lesser than the pain I had dwelt. 

The gun that I shot to myself, 
Would my dream paradise be out of my shelf? 
A paradise not full of regret, 
A life full of freedom that I wouldn't forget. 

If you ask me what my life has been, 
It's like a robot having its own routine. 
What you're going through doesn't matter, 
When you know how to fake your own laughter. 

After believing everything will be alright, 
Disappointments will rub salt on your wounded heart. 
Accepting that you’ll never be okay, 
Because happiness won’t stay. 

Always living like a tool, 
Couldn't fixed itself like a fool. 
I might be right about me; 
A big mistake was all I could be. 

If self-pity is what this poem for, 
This could go on I assure. 
But as I talk about my new paradise, 
I found out something new otherwise. 

In order to be happy in a paradise, 
It doesn't mean you need to end the sacrifice. 
You will never be contented in a world full of your desire; 
It will suffocate you like being in a closed door fire. 

Life was made with balance, 
Like the presence of sound & silence. 
Within tears and sorrow, 
Comes laughter and new tomorrow. 

It's late to realize a living heaven made by God, 
a paradise made that must be given glory and laud. 
Life would be so much bore, 
If happiness is what we only lived for. 

If I just knew what life awaits me, 
If I just knew what death could teach me. 
I wish I never asked for this new paradise, 
because my dream paradise is just world full of lies.

Author's Note

*Photo credits to the owner*

Reviews

[sonnie ibadah]

"...What you're going through doesn't matter,
When you know how to fake your own laughter..."
Very strong piece. The raw emotion in every verse is gripping. Nice work!