New Year's Eve

This is about my tendencies toward self-doubt lack of fulfillment... I can't write poetry within the constrains of traditional structure, and I'm disenchanted with my final product all too often

An indecisive rain fell upon my brow today

It loitered, lapped up and lingered

Did little to settle my fears

As nature would have it

Its very essence coalesced

Into

What you see before you

Sentiments true

But always unbound

The pool of excuses in which I drown

 

I’ve this burning yearning for validation

For something, I don’t know what

Is my writing any good? Is my rhythm sound? Am I handsome?

But I don’t care…

If I can’t find love within myself, I’ll never find it anywhere

‘Cause I’m a vandalistic painting

Of the latest generation

The shade and the rendering never equals what I’m saying

Some are claiming we lack motivation (but it’s just me

And only me)

Saving all my hatred just for me

How selfish?

 

A feature unrefined came upon my feeble mind

And so I’m writing it down

One more should-have in which to drown

Because I’m feeling like a loser

And it’s New Year’s Eve

So I ask the booze: for auld lang syne’s sake, please

Help me quell or at least get free of these insecurities

Let me alleviate my anxieties